Monday, December 28, 2009


Fightlinker thinks its a "crying shame" that "Big Baby" Marcus Jones is quitting MMA. While I agree with his "quit" versus "retire" analysis, I have no problem with it. Jones has zero chin and zero standup, and his alleged top control seems like as flimsy as his jawline. He needs to stay away from MMA, he'll get seriously hurt.
Of course, he can always head to Japan and cash in on the freakshow circuit.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Dear MMA World

I am not looking forward to Frank Mir and Shane Carwin trying to out-fellate each other with praise leading up to their fight. Someone send Frank the complete season of Jersey Shore so he can channel his inner Guido and talk some weirdly-cadenced shit about Carwin's lack of a manly head of curly/greasy locks.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Oh Paulo.

So Paulo Filho talks badly-translated shit about Chael Sonnen after revealing he suffers from depression:

“Two years ago, the addiction to sleeping pills Paulão led to a depression which disturbs her to this day. During this period, Paulão lost the belt of World Extreme Cagefighting to an American wrestler infinitely inferior to him, the median Chael Sonnen.”

One fucking point, Paulo. You fight with your head as well as your body. You have a fucking busted up head that doesn't work right. That counts towards your superiority. Filho effectively is taking the same stance as Melvin Guillard saying "I've never been beaten, I've only been submitted", and other fighters who have some gaping hole in their game that they try to paper over. Or a guy with no cardio saying he did well til he gassed. YOU HAVE TO TRAIN CARDIO. Your head has to work. If your head doesn't work (see War "Jon 'War Machine' Koppenhaver" Machine), THAT COUNTS YOU JACKASS. Chael Sonnen (as much as it pains me to say this) is better than Paulo Filho until proven otherwise because he BEAT HIM.
I can't say I'm not a fan of Filho's. He's a talented fighter, but unless he gets his head together he won't be the real thing. Maybe him and Karo can hang out, have a hug or something.

Saturday, December 5, 2009


OK, I'm not a fan of a guy losing when he dominates like that, but I really, really, really believe everyone follows the same rules. Still, that loss for Jon Jones is hard to swallow. Tough luck for Jones, he'll still be a factor going forward.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Last night's TUF

For some reason, the UFC rebroadcast was still going on when my guide said TUF should be on. I'd just watched MTB lose his belt and was feeling a bit down, so I skipped TUF and just looked up the results. Read a few blogs. You know what? Despite not missing a minute of that show since basically I heard of it at all (much to my regret, often), I am fine. The world did not end because I missed some MMA. I know, I'm as shocked as you. But seeing Jon Madsen get KO'd by Brendan Schaub? Meh. The only good fight in the last three years on that damn show was screwed up by the judges already, so who knows. So far, not much of the "craziest" season ever as promoted by Dana White among others.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


"Mono" means "the universe's revenge for being a total assclown douchenozzle"? Interesting to note.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Hughes-Serra replay

Just rewatched it from the vantage point of a couple months, and I still think Matt Serra won. Hughes was utterly ineffective except a couple takedowns.
I know, I know, at the end of the day, the decision is final. But in my book Serra won the fight. Ineffective top control is ridiculous.

Dear Internet:

Thank you for finally catching up with me in regards to revising the scoring in MMA.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

TUF last night

I was totally surprised to realize that Scott Junk can't fight adult men. They should have let him square off against perhaps a Shar Pei, or a tender chicken breast, because he didn't have shit in the cage. And that included ten minutes worth of fight. Neither guy was close to having the cardio he needed. Mitrione lasted about 3.5 minutes before he was gasping with an open mouth. At least Junk lasted til the second round. But even with his opponent weezing like an old man Junk couldn't do a thing about it.
This episode was inexcusable crap. Everything about it was bad...the only thing, in general, that redeems these man-dramas is the fight at the end of the show. Even that was horrible. They need to issue a public apology for the fights they've shown so far. Especially Wes Sims.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

dear UFC Unleashed,

Why do you add crazy cheering to your fight replays? I don't need it. I saw a lot of these fights live (on TV), and they weren't cheering that much. New rule: if someone may reasonably still have a live broadcast of a fight on their DVR to go back and compare the two broadcasts, do not start adding cheers.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Instant legend

Cerrone-Henderson should go down in the books as one of the classic MMA battles of all time. It showed pretty much every aspect of MMA as a discipline, and some absolutely dynamic and frankly jaw-dropping scrambles, submission attempts, submission defenses, and cardio. This was my fight of the year, and there's going to have to be two guys who want it real bad to beat out this fight.
One thing to note: the surface for this fight was stupid. It offered a poor grip for the fighters. Several times guys looked like they were stunned or in trouble but they were simply fighting for footing. That's basically the only bad thing that happened. Shame on SA for not putting down a decent floor.
That said, Donald Cerrone is a fucking man. He gets stronger as the fight goes on, and never stops walking forward. He constantly tries to finish, and he has a great submission game that flows naturally from position to position. Henderson is a cardio maniac, who makes guys like Clay Guida and Randy Couture look like slouchers. His scrambling was astounding at times, mainly because Cerrone is such a phenomenal scrambler himself. "Smooth" didn't get to show off, or chose not to show off, his own heavy hands, but he has 'em.
I watched the only round in contention and still think Henderson won round 1. The problem is that there is not straightforward weight of any given MMA action vs. another action. For instance a sub attempt (from the guard? From a dominant position? from a bad position? standing?) isn't worth "1.1 points" or whatever, and a sub escape isn't worth ".9 points" etc. Maybe it should be! But it isn't. So we end up with guys watching and feeding their own viewpoint as to the value of a given act in the cage. I think position and postural control is extremely important, and a good sub escape nullifies much of a good sub attempt. I also think a good standup nullifies much of a good takedown.
But that's a discussion for another day. In the meantime, we're lucky to have seen a fight like Cerrone-Henderson, that displayed everything great about MMA: talent, heart, skill, and determination. Congratulations to Henderson...train hard! You're going to face Cerrone again if you hold onto that belt!

Saturday, October 10, 2009


uh, sherdog has a (somewhat justified) hard-on for cerrone. two of the people judging the fight for them gave 10-8 rounds to the cowboy. i have a hard-on for him myself, but not that hard.
honestly, i can't give anyone a 10-8 when they walk out to Kid Rock. Never.


I have no argument with the decision, but this fight was in some respects a verification of the worries that good MMA may turn into shitty kickboxing, whoever stated that first (I think it was Josh Gross or Kid Nate but couldn't find the link, and I won't link to bloody elbow for any amount of money, being as they're a bunch of cock-gobblers, and not the good kind). If Crunkilton had a modicum of good striking, instead of the ol' "serviceable"striking wrestlers develop to fend off kickboxers, he would have KO'd Jansen easily. Jansen had his number on the ground, but there were some very exciting exchanges.


i was thinking about the aldo-brown fight and wondered if they were giving waggney a fight to keep him busy...and thought of werdum-dos santos as a "keep busy" fight gone horribly awry. and boom, triangle, top fiver goes down. weird.


I'm watching the WEC on DVR right now, so I don't know what happened, but as far as how he's talking, it sounds like Varner isn't, and hasn't been, ducking Cerrone. He brings up an important point that gets glossed over by tons of people: Varner won that fight via decision. He was ahead on the cards. He didn't win via DQ. Cerrone had the exact same opportunity to win the fight in those four rounds that Varner did. Still and all, I hope Cerrone wins so they can rematch to unify the belt. I like Henderson a lot, and he's got a chance, but Varner-Cerrone 2 is what I want to see. With no timeouts.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I'll say it

Ben Henderson looks a lot like Crab Man from "My Name Is Earl".

rampage the abandoner

while as displayed on TV rampage's actions after last week's fight seem pretty lame, i still hesitate to go too crazy over what Spike chooses to air.
some of the fighters on the show blogged that it sucked, so i'd rather take their word for it, honestly.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Roy Nelson's mistake

While Nelson's strategy basically guaranteed a win, it also was a major screw-up. Roy took part in one of the top five most-watched MMA fights ever. And he looked boring and lost on his feet (to me), despite his display of technical mastery on the ground. So basically when given the big stage, he opted for safety, and he had the balls to complain about not making money. Seems like he shipped away a lot of money, for himself, and MMA fighters in general.
It's his career, and what he wants is a win, and to win the tournament, and win every time he steps in the cage. But bitching about his money, and taking the least exciting path to win (for the people just tuning in. For the record I thought some of the clinch work on the cage was pretty exciting), well, that sounds stupid. You have to take chances if you want to grab the brass ring. It comes down to this: will Roy Nelson be more famous if he wins TUF, or if he'd put on a crazy war with Kimbo in front of over 6 million viewers?

Monday, September 28, 2009

cole miller

They just showed a replay of Cole Miller vs. Junie Browning. That was pretty lame of Miller. He went on to get KTFO by Efrain Escudero.

MMAJ says it best

like usual:

"Watching Tim Kennedy destroy Zak Cummings was like watching an M-1 Abrams battle tank roll into Kandahar and crush a slow-moving donkey in its path. In other words, it was ugly."

Indeed. There was one somewhat competitive fight on the cards between a tiny guy with a chin I've never heard of and a tiny guy with strikes I've never heard of. That saved the card basically.
For Cummings, saying "He's a tough guy" is about as backhanded a compliment as you can offer. They're all fucking tough guys. That's like saying a piano player has two hands.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Hilarious part:

Ray Sefo has a submission win now.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

holey shi'ite

that shit they put on Spike TV was so goddamn terrible I think my kidney fell out. What kind of a fight was that? Can you have a point deduction for being a complete joke? Additionally, Spike likes to eff with fighter's records for some reason...that McSweeney character, whose cardio looked only awful in comparison to that other dude's absolute anti-cardio, is at 3-4 according to Sherdog. But Spike listed him at 3-3, so maybe he lasts a while and they didn't want to show him as a losing-record fighter every time.
As for the relative gas tanks of these guys, Justin Wren noted on his TUF blog that they were fighting the same day as the previous fight, they hadn't become accustomed to the lights, cameras, and weird space they were fighting in. That can lead to an adrenalin dump, I'd guess. But MAN, they've seen the show. They gotta be able to go one stinking round without gassing out. Both guys were done at the end of two.
The verbal sparring between Rampage and Rashad is already old. The "I say something and then you say something then we both repeat the same things we just said for an hour" jawboning they do is just annoying. Hopefully 'Page isn't really retiring, because if we don't see those two fight I'll be totally pissed.
Wren promises on his blog that they showed the two most boring fights first. I hope he's right. If either of the four fighters we've seen so far end up in the finals, well...that's not good. Who will be this year's Josh Haynes? Wait and see.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Dear MMA World

The only TUF recap worth reading, outside the various entrant blogs, is Jim Genia's


Monday, September 21, 2009

UFC 103...easier than expected for some

Dos Santos, Daley, and Belfort had a way easier time than anyone thought they would. Just a matter of "better man on the day"? Or are they that much better?

Sunday, September 20, 2009

UFC 103

Mirko Cro Cop Filipovich needs to hang up the gloves, or honestly approach the sport anew. His game is done. A younger, stronger fighter, just like Gabe Gonzaga, pressed the action and beat him pretty handily. It looked like he had an opportunity to push back, but instead just pushed, with open unclenched hands, for some reason. Dos Santos proved some shit, he took some shots and showed some cardio. He's big, fast, and hits hard. But Cro Cop is...just done. Embarrassing done.
Franklin didn't show a lot vs. Belfort. Vitor laid a simple shot on him and he laid on his face. Knowing Franklin for these last few years I'm betting it was a hard fucking shot, but man, he seemed to eat harder shots from Anderson Silva and stay standing for a while. Either Vitor is that good or they have to feed Franklin some softies to build his name back up before they throw him in against some aging star in a catchweight bout again.
Koscheck made Trigg look as bad or worse than Cro Cop. Time's up Frank. That ended up worse than Ken Shamrock's attempt at one more big money fight.
Hermes Franca came in looking fat, missing weight, and getting knocked the fuck out. What exactly is he fighting for nowadays? A paycheck? He got that. He didn't get anything else other than a beating though.
Overall an OK event. They showed a lot of fights...but I wasn't out of my seat at any point. 6 out of 10.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Dear Cung Le

Fucking burn in a fire, you fuckin' dick. Thanks for making everyone who defended you look like complete assholes.


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

TUF 10 episode one

1) Rampage and Rashad aren't friends

2) Big Abe is a terrible mixed martial artist

3) the guy he fought is a terrible mixed martial artist

4) Bleeding a lot is not interesting, just kind of gross

That ends our coverage of The Ultimate Fighter, Season 10, Episode 1

Diaz-Guillard (spoilers)

I hate Nate Diaz so much. Him and Guillard. Diaz is 1-2. Guillard is, once again, a chump. Let's see what he tests positive for tonight.

Huerta-Maynard (spoilers)

Good fight. Roger Huerta...please. Re-sign with the UFC. Shit dude, you just had your Exorcised and didn't burp up any pea soup...I'm not sure where you stow em in the tighties, but you got massive fucking balls.
Maynard is impressive, but BJ Penn or Diego Sanchez right now would tear him up. No stoppages yet.

They're announcing Nate Diaz as TUF champ. Champ by shoulder injury. Meh.

Condit-Ellenberger (spoilers)

Well, Carlos sure has had is hands full with his first two fights in the UFC. They're not feeding him any warmups, thats for sure. Even his last-minute replacement is tough as hell. How Condit survived the 1st I have no idea.
Impressive display of heart and cardio by Condit, and heart by Ellenberger. I thought the fight was not that close...I guess you could give Jake the second and first on takedowns and whatnot. But I thought Carlos won. I like watching both these guys fight, I hope Jake gets another bout in the UFC.
Apparently Condit trains with creepy bald ginger twins.

Credeur-Quarry (spoilers)

Damn Rock's face got messed up.
Credeur was impressive, as was Nate, but I don't know if either of these guys could stand there and get punched that often against many other middleweights.
Great postfight interview with Nate. "My gameplan was simple so I wouldn't forget: go fight". I've actually come to like Nate a lot more since TUF than I did on TUF.
Where was this Crazy Tim on the show?

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Undercard nightmare

Why isn't Brock Larson a bigger deal in the UFC's welterweight division. Dude has a pretty stunning record at 26-2, with wins over some better 170lbers. He's fighting on the undercard next week...the guy's only losses are to Jon Fitch and Carlos Condit. Hopefully he's one win away from being on a televised spot. He's an animal.

Brock Larson
Record 26 - 2 - 0 (Win - Loss - Draw)
Wins 5 (T)KOs ( 19.23 %)
18 Submissions ( 69.23 %)
2 Decisions ( 7.69 %)
1 Other ( 3.85 %)
Losses 1 Submissions ( 50 %)
1 Decisions ( 50 %)
Association Minnesota Martial Arts Academy
Height 5'11" (181cm)
Weight 185lbs (84kg)
Birth Date 1977-08-23
City Brainerd, MN

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Entertaining interview with Stompin' Wes Sims

Ol' Cagepotato puts down the ink. My favorite quote:

What surprised you the most during your experience on TUF?

I’m surprised how much food was eaten in that house. I’m surprised that, of that food, so much of it was eaten by Roy Nelson.

Go take a look.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Dear MMA Blogosphere pt 2

Please...fucking please...don't just use spellcheck. Send your shit to someone. That way you don't have people challenging Anderson's "thrown" instead of his "throne". You get your 'you're' and 'your' right. 'Their', 'they're', and 'there' ceases to be a mystery. And all those homonyms that clearly, Brock Lesnar hates, they just resolve nicely.



So this guy has a White Pride tat and a swastika.

This guy has a huge "Brown Pride" tat across his chest (he's a natural born US citizen, the white pride guy is dutch or norwegian or something viking-y).

I understand that Nazis did a lot of killing and were generally just total jerks. What if it said "Norse Pride or something? I dunno. probably don't mean much...when someone says "White Pride", you pretty much know they mean they're big racists, whether they try to gussy up that pig with an "Its not hate, it's love" dress or not. Its a question of history: the white pride guys lynched, burned, raped, killed, and conquered. the brown pride guys did considerably less of that.

good article at MMAJ

Right here on Jake Rosholt picking up a win in the UFC. I gotta admit the kid looked a lot better, a huge amount better, than he did in his last couple fights, the loss to Dan Miller and the sloppy mess against Nissen Osterneck.
I like what he had to say about Yves Lavigne handling Leben's near-tap. A lot of guys tap once and try to take it back. Ask "They took my" Dollaway how he feels about single taps.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

you know

If "Grim" stays at range, and jabs, he can beat Fedor. But he'll have to be able to impose his will on Fedor, which few people have been able to do. I'm thinking of Andre Arlovski's fight with Fedor. Take away an ill-advised flying knee attempt and you have a fight completely dominated by the Pitbull. Of course you can't take away that flying knee attempt, or the head trauma that accompanied it. So, if Brett Rogers can keep Fedor at the end of his arms, he can win. Much like the assassin spider evolved fangs (and a neck, really, look it up) longer than its body to keep the poisonous prey it fed on away from its soft bits, Grim will need to keep the deadly Russion off his soft underbelly.

Should be a fun fight.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Dear MMA Blogosphere

Please, please please: I could give a shit what Dana White thinks about Strikeforce, Fedor, or Brett Rogers. So don't talk about it. It doesn't matter.

Thank you,

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Evangelista-Aina overturned

So Billy Evangelista complained his way to a no-decision following "Iron" Mike Aina's fake-ass DQ win. Good for him. No one's coverage seems interested in pointing out that Mike Aina is now officially a total fake-ass jackoff. Way to go Mike! I'm sure any fans you've acquired over the last few years are ready to puke in a pineapple.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Don Frye still rules

Here, Don explains why he left the M-1 Global fight against King Mo. Also included: subtle digs on Dana White (well, not subtle), and assessment of Pee Wee Herman (the big one, not the public masturbator).

Friday, August 21, 2009

Kickass Brandon Vera interview

James Iannotti at put together a cool interview with "The Truth". Definitely worth a read. Vera's funny and straightforward about wins, losses, and where he stands. I like that, when Iannotti asked him about the Werdum stoppage, he mentioned talking to Dan Miragliotta and "everything's cool". When pressed, he said, "That's between me and Dan, but everything's cool." No bullshit, just the facts, no making garbage up. I hope they put him up against Tito Ortiz if Tito wins against Old Man Coleman.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Good ruling in re five round non-title fights

Excellent news from the NSAC: They will now allow five-round non-title fights, with the caveat that the fighters are of "championship caliber". That seems a bit fungible, but still, good stuff. I think the fighters should be allowed to go five if they're guaranteed a shot with a win, ie a #1 contender fight. We'll have to see how it works out.
Brock Lesnar-Shane Carwin coming up, maybe, in November. Seems like an interesting matchup, possibly the only guy in the UFC as big as Lesnar. At least until they sign Bigfoot Silva when he gets off his 'roids suspension.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Dear Gina Carano

If you're going to be that much slower than your opponent, you better hit a whole lot harder.

PS Your rack still rules.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

strikeforce thoughts

it just came on here on the west coast. fabricio werdum's interview was really earnest and respectful. what a kickass job. he did that for his mom!

matt fuckin hughes

they're doing this UFC 100 thing, since I don't get to watch gina-cyborg live i'm sitting here waiting til it comes on at ten pacific. every goddamn hughes fight they show, matt hughes talks it up to lessen his own failures or however he was outmatched. in the second GSP fight he talks about how the "low kicks", which hughes implies are to the groin, caused him to drop his hands, leaving him open to the high kick. then they show the lame, sloppy-ass shot that hughes was trying right before GSP damn near shinned his head off, and hughes looks like a clown. again.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


"SportsNation" commercial on ESPN, showed a tweet from someone saying "There is not a human alive right now who could beat Brock Lesnar in an MMA fight". That's so amazingly stupid it inspired sudden posting. I can think of ten people right now who can beat him, easily. Fucking Frank Mir could beat him. Good lord, there's a series of light heavyweights who could beat him. He may be huge and fast, but he's not fuckin' invincible.

Ugh. All that said, I'd still like to see Brett Rogers vs Brock Lesnar, that would be a solid matchup.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

oh yeah

I forgot to mention how bummed all the Marv coverage got me. You notice how BJ wouldn't talk about him after the fight? He ran out instead in old-school BJ fashion? It's because Marv fucking flipped out on his people and it nearly came to blows. You don't make friends with BJ by trying to fight his brother when discussing business matters.


The Grim

Showtime just showed Brett Rogers/Jon Murphy and dammit, I want this guy in the UFC. I know he's raw still, but 6'5" and 265? GET THAT FUCKER IN THE OCTAGON. I like the smack Team Bison runs, I like that they had Big Black in the cage after KOing Murphy, I just want this guy beating down UFC HWs to set up a fight with Lesnar at some point.

They're showing Villasenor vs Baroni. What a joke Baroni's become. He's basically running off his rep from Pride.

This is a little weird

I'm utterly stunned by the lack of a barely-coherent protestation of innocence from Nick Diaz, his management, or his pot dealer. While indeed, the system is fucked up, he knew the rules. Any corrupt set-up he had with Armando "Office Stallion" Garcia is actually not so exculpatory...I'd say it's grounds for a criminal bribery investigation.

The pot laws in this country are ignorant, hateful, and cause endless destruction to lives and families...but they're laws. Your option is to move to another country, or accept that you run the risk of being caught and losing your livelihood. Doesn't make it right, just makes it fact. Protesting it may help in the long run, but it will not help your job. I hope it was all a big mix-up, and that Diaz has his name cleared, even though I believe he's a fucking idiot. I don't want MMA dragged through the mud with him.

Monday, August 10, 2009

OK, is he an idiot now?

Dear Nick Diaz defenders: Is this shit stupid enough for you yet?

Update: Yep. How does anyone sign this guy? Between starting fights outside the cage, talking idiotic lisping trash, and publicly proclaiming his love of pot, the dude is a walking promotion-fuck. I've said since day fuckin' one: it's not just him that gets fucked by his stupidity. It's everyone else involved too. Now Strikeforce looks like clowns, Heiron's out a title fight and possibly bigger money later to support his fucking family, and we have to deal with Pee-pants fighting on a major network. I don't like any of that.

MMA Weekend

Brian Bowles put his power on display last night. Truly a spectacular KO win over a consensus pound-for-pound juggernaut. Ends the 17 fight win streak that Miguel brought to the fight. Contrary to a lot of observers I don't feel like Torres is less of a pound-for-pound consideration for this loss. Everyone loses. It happens, but it doesn't automatically mean the guy's suddenly a bum. Let's see how he reacts. I'd love an immediate rematch, but a title fight with Dominick Cruz wouldn't make me too sad. Let Miguel have a matchup with a contender.

The UFC was somewhat uninspiring. Is that how it always happens, the WEC outshines it's older brother when they share the same weekend? They gotta start promoting these little guys around the country. I guess the fact that I was rooting for Kenny, and the broadcast featured Marv Marinovich so prominently, who blew up on Penn a few weeks before the fight and caused BJ to leave, made it hard for me to get into it. Some slow action too, and being forced to watch Kendall Grove, well that would get anyone in a bad mood. The "fight in the stands" bullshit was highly obnoxious to me. Fuck those idiot meatheads and meatheadettes. And fuck you Goldy and Rogan, for talking about those drunked cocksuckers while there's real athletes putting it on the line in the cage.

And one more thing, what the FUCK was up with that COMMERCIAL before the main event?! I paid $45 to watch that shit, I do NOT WANT COMMERCIALS. That's the fucking POINT OF IT. I'd almost forgotten til I started to write this up...anyone have an explanation for that bullshit? I want a god damned rebate for the ten minutes of my time they wasted.

Friday, August 7, 2009

fedor talk

Dana White has turned on the anti-Strikefore jets full bore. His act is predictable, lame, and totally effective. Like stabbing an unarmed nun.

M-1 is partially owned by Fedor Emilianenko. Why is it so hard to understand he wants it to succeed? His interests lie with himself, not in fighting what Dana White decides are the best heavyweights in the world. I personally applaud Fedor for trying for that brass ring. That's EXACTLY the kind of balls it took for Dana White to get where he coming up with an idea, pitching it to some rich guys, and riding the fuck out of it. Great, big, cast-iron balls.

Will it work? Strikeforce has a tiger by the tail...they'll not only need to manage events now, but manage press and public opinion, which is a much harder row to hoe. We'll see. If they can milk the three fights on Fedor's contract, they may end up in good shape. But of course, they could end up broke and Fedor-less, just like Affliction.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

be like water, Scott Coker

Dana White unleashed his newfound "I hate Strikeforce" act, and Scott Coker did a good job of rolling with the punches. He's gotta be happy the UFC, which is gaining a ton of mainstream coverage, bothered to talk about his promotion. Can't hurt.


performify at MMAJunkie puts up his UFC 101 analysis, and I generally enjoy his picks articles, whether I agree or not. He's a massive (no pun intended) BJ Penn fan, and that takes a little bit of fun out of it, but not a lot. One thing I couldn't handle was his characterization of BJ's training with Marv Marinovich. He states that they were in "championship caliber" facilities. Check out the video that BJ made...they're training in a dude's garage.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


fightlinker sez:

Here’s hoping Scott Coker gets creative and figures something interesting out for Fedor’s first Strikeforce fight, or we’re going to be magically transported back to 2006 when everyone got really resentful the first time Fedor stopped fighting top ranked opponents and instead spent two years fighting fat dudes, middleweights, old men, and giants.
while i agree with 99% of what ryan says, the UFC has only a few guys to offer as legit contenders to the real HW crown, which is basically sewn to Fedor's deceptively pudgy midsection. there's giant, unskilled but athletic brock lesnar, light heavyweight old man randy couture, testicularly vulnerable mirko cro cop (i'm not going to lie and say i wouldn't beat up my family to see that fight), another matchup with aging Big Nog, and up and comers shane carwin and cain velasquez. all in all I'd rather he was in the UFC too, but I guess I never thought he'd get there in the first place, so my hopes didn't have as far to fall.
right now we've got fights for fedor in japan. Barnett and Silva could fight out there, if Barnett wants to end his career overseas. Mighty Mo is plausible for the states, as well as Pee Wee Herman, though I don't see him being ready for Fedor yet. Obviously Brett Rogers and Overeem are in strikeforce...Brett would most likely get eaten alive, but I thought Andrei would beat him up too.

Eh, speculation is speculation. I'm honestly not interested in freak losses by fedor against guys like gil yvel or jeff monson. That's where the most people are massively disappointed, that he won't be fighting top ten guys (even though Fight! has Monson, Overeem and Rogers all in the top Monson? #4?)

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Seanbaby goodness

I'm bitter fightlinker found this before me. That'll teach me to have another job that pays money. I hope you're happy with your glory and ramen, Ryan. Dammit.

Rashad Evans's Brain: "Guard our face."

Rashad Evans: "You... ouch... can't hurt me!"

Rashad Evans's Brain: "The guy barely even speaks English, stop playing mind games with his hands."

Rashad Evans: "Ow! You hit like a bitch!"

Rashad Evans's Brain: "Alright, fuck you. I'm not staying awake for this."

Rashad Evans's Legs: "Hey, we're falling this direction!"

Rashad Evans's Brain: "Oh, don't you start with me too. You do what you want, but I'm going this way!"

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

rewatching stuff

Just watching Lauzon-Florian. Lauzon looked to have edged that first round and just couldn't do a thing once he was mounted. Kenny's mount was smothering. The move he pulled to achieve it was cool too, off the takedown he kind of scoot-jumped over Creepy Joe's legs.
Hey, what's up with Karo Parisyan? I haven't heard a thing about him. He's still in the UFC right? That dude can beat any WW on a given night (or lose surprisingly to them).
I wish Kenny hadn't thanked god. I wonder if Lauzon did.

Fedor, Vadim, M-1

While it's looking like Fedor's not going to fight in the UFC any time soon (though who knows), it can't be THAT surprising. M-1 and Vadim Finklechtein (sp?! who knows) aren't management, or guys who work for him. He owns a chunk of M-1, and Vadim is his business partner. Why on earth would he break that partnership? Some money? He's already regarded the best heavyweight in the world. What's armbarring Brock Lesnar going to gain him?

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

what the hey

Did I miss something? During introductions to the UFC 100 bout between Mir and Lesnar they named Mir a challenger and former UFC hw champ, and on the poster Fightlinker put up for 102 (which is pretty cool), they list Nog as former Pride champ.
Did Nog not fight for and win the Interim UFC HW belt? I remember them giving him a belt. Then Mir knocked him out and took it, right? This all happened, I saw it. What the hell is going on, are they just pretending it didn't happen?

Diaz-Heiron, Mousasi-Babalu

So Strikeforce swooped in and snagged Jay Heiron and Babalu/Mousasi for their Aug 15 card. They have Fabricio Werdum on there, whose matchup with Alistair Overeem went down the shitter. Why hasn't Fedor signed to fight Werdum? That would instantly transform this card from a compelling, groundbreaking card (with Carano-Cyborg as headliner) to and epic, all-time great card along the lines of the old Pride mega-cards, or some of the UFCs great shows.

Do it! Let M-1 copromote his fight, who gives a shit! Sign Fedor!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

GSP-Serra 2

Spike is showing GSP-Serra 2, and it's interesting to note that, for the most part, GSP used his relatively overwhelming size and wrestling advantage to dominate and land measured, careful strikes. Brock Lesnar used his overwhelming size and wrestling advantage to land careful, measured strikes on Frank Mir.
The question I have is this: In reviewing both fights, GSP's effort looks like the effort of a martial artist. Lesnar's looks like the effort of a big brother, or a security guard, or something. Little artwork to be seen in his display against Frank Mir.
So, why? Am I just bigoted against Lesnar because he's a fucking idiot meathead, with such deep, deep feelings of inadequacy (how fuckin' hard DID daddy hit you, dude?) that he has to scream at bludgeoned opponents? Or is he just that much worse than a disciple like GSP? They replayed Mir-Nogueira as well, and whatever anyone wants to say, Mir dominated that guy. Maybe Nog had a bad case of AIDS or got hit by another truck on his way in, who gives a fuck. Franky fucked him up pretty bad.
So they're back from commercial, and here's GSP with the takedowns, and the knees to the body. The crowd goes wild. Of course, it's a Montreal crowd, slightly (I'm guessing) behind GSP. He's dragging Serra around, mugging him, laying on him. Couture does the same thing.
It's funny, watching it again, Matt had opportunities in this fight. But man, GSP is good.
Anyways, what? Am I a bigot? Is Lesnar that shitty?

Friday, July 24, 2009


this whole week was a huge shit-avalanche. this affliction thing is bizarre. it's like the godfather movie where michael cleaned house. affliction was Fredo.

also, everyone's in tucking fizzy over Dana's "Welcome back Tito!" tweet, but no one called into the fucking radio show using the fucking phone number right in that same fuckin' tweet?

***Note: You'd think I'd read my own feeds before getting all testy. there was a note that White "hinted" at Ortiz coming back on the radio show. Heal thy own stupid self.

Oh boy

This whole Affliction thing is amazingly awful. It just gets worse and worse for Josh Barnett, too...he went from being on the verge of potentially putting himself on the map in the States as a big-time draw to being every half-wit blogger's whipping boy. Dude, if Jared Shaw points and laughs at you, you FUCKED UP BIG TIME. The Washington Nationals are all like "Pfft, fag."

Forget Vitor-Fedor

How about "cancel the whole fucking thing" instead?

That is just a big bag of what you think are eclairs, but mid-bite realize are puff-turds.

If this is indeed the case, where does Fedor go? M-1 is still trying to become a player. Strikeforce seems...iffy to me, for whatever reason. And Dana White is such a fucking dick I can't see Fedor signing with the UFC. It's hard to want to work for someone who screams dirty words in your face constantly, and calls your mother a whore.

1.5 million PPV buys for UFC 100...!

Ryan has a rundown, as well as pointing out the UFC's new place in American PPV history.

One thing struck me, when Ryan mentioned how shitty the Oscar De La Hoya vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. "event" was. It's that boxing hasn't really been an "event" for a while...just a fight, and usually only one fight that anyone even vaguely cares about. MMA cards tend to have implications, and interest, and fighters don't duck each other for years to pad out their records.

Gotta love it. Even if those 1.5 million ish got to see Brock Lesnar being a complete dick-wart.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Vitor vs. Fedor...

***As news of the last few days has shown, this fight isn't 100% yet. But who the hell knows. Today the consensus seems to be "most likely Vitor-Fedor". Of course, making your mind up by averaging out generally wildly stupid blog posts is not necessarily something you'd want to bet money on.



Vitor's HL wins for soundtrack, but Fedor's wins for making me fear for my life.

Most-cornholed guy on Affliction 3?

Jorge Santiago...

Everyone but the UFC gets cornholed.

So Barnett is out of the Fedor fight. And Overeem is dropping out of his fight with Werdum for the Strikeforce belt.
So the UFC is sitting pretty, giggling like a school girl over their decision not to partner with Showtime. All of their competitors are getting screwed. Ah well. I wonder if some mob goons showed up at CSAC offices and said "Hey, it would be a shame if Barnett didn't test positive, you know?" and then grinned too long and made everyone uncomfortable before slowly walking out.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Why in the fuck

Why in the name of tiny baby jeebus balanced spinning on a pole is Dan Henderson going to fight Rich Franklin again? Why? What the fuck? What point is there to that fight? NONE! Holy shit! Franklin's supposed to be at 205 isn't he? Why on earth would he fight at 185? Why would Hendo go to 205? That's honestly the only reason I can come up with for Hendo taking the fight: As a 205lb contender fight, to get a shot at Machida. Hendo I seriously have zero doubts still wants belts in both weights. But Franklin? I guess he's a company guy.

It still makes no sense, answers no questions. Why in the world does Hendo have to fight this guy he beat already? And recently!

Ben Fowlkes is dead on

About why Fedor won't, and honestly shouldn't, come to fight for the UFC. They treat him like shit. Specifically, Dana White treats him like shit, badmouths him, and mocks his friends, employees, management, family, and accomplishments. Why the fuck would he go fight for the UFC? He'd have to be a fucking moron, unless we're talking a huge payoff, like 8-figure money. I can understand guys in the 6 figure range being happy enough fighting for the UFC, but Fedor is one of the few fighters in the world who can command boxer money. And, soon, probably Brock Lesnar. I can see Brock and Fedor hooking it up outside the UFC at some point down the road for huge dollars.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Rodriguez: Wrong.

So Rodriguez, on Fightlinker, thinks that Cole Miller bitching out Junie Browning after their undercard fight on an UFN somehow compares to Brock Lesnar screaming at a clearly disoriented Frank Mir after one of the most-viewed, highest profile cards in UFC history.

Rodriguez, you're wrong.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Dear MMA Junkie and Yahoo MMA

The shit Lesnar is catching for behaving like an assclown is fully justified by his assclown behavior, not by whatever job he had before real fighting. So all your Lesnar backers: That excuse is dead, stop wasting words on it. The dislike for Lesnar is real, based on his own behavior and lack of skill, and isn't going away any time soon.

luv, g


That's a crazy meatball.

NPR this morning

On my drive in NPR talked about a photographic display at MOCA here in San Diego, Octagon: Photographs by Kevin Lynch
Sounds pretty interesting. At the link there's a before and after shot of Forrest Griffin. He's an emotional weirdo. I wonder if those WEC/Versus spots were in reaction to these shots or just coincidental? They were good spots, done on video rather than stills, showing fighters before and after fights, no voice, no words.

Ah, here you go:

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Dear Entire MMA Internet:

Kit Cope is an irrelevant scumbag. Please stop putting his name in my RSS feeds, because I don't even care enough to hate him.


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

whoa...brown vs. aldo.

wonder how waggney fabiano will feel about this info? aldo and fabiano are teammates from what i understand...

diego confirms next title shot

here, sanchez says he's definitely next in line for a shot. whatever. i hope whoever wins beats the shit out of him.

Monday, July 13, 2009

bigger and stronger?

I know the narrative of Thiago Alves was that he was bigger and stronger than GSP coming in, and he showed flashes of power getting off the ground, but really, did he LOOK bigger or stronger? He looked shorter to me, and not particularly large at all. GSP, with his big ol' mule-ass and thighs four feet around looked like the bigger fighter to me.

if they only had a brain

all the pro-Brock articles I've read so far have been ferocious attacks on straw men...basically, making a point that they claim the anti-Lesnar posters make, and tearing it apart, while ignoring the actual point their "opponent" made. I even read one saying "the people who didn't like [his] post-fight shenanigans aren't real MMA fans, anyways". What the hell is that? Lesnar is a loss for the sport because he makes it smaller. the people who he will appeal to already bought the PPV's he was in. They didn't need to be convinced. his whole thing is a win for Brock Lesnar, and a loss for everyone else.


Fightlinker has a post up about how mainstream approbation doesn't matter. I disagree. No one's pretending it's not a brutal sport. But the problem is winning support for it as a sport, at all. Brock Lesnar cost that support, and Dan Henderson inexplicably forgetting the unspoken rule "thou shalt not admit to cheap-shotting an unconscious opponent" cost some support. I don't give a shit what other people think of the sport of MMA, but I love watching it, and watching it means expanding it. Otherwise it will slowly die.
I don't see why that's so hard to understand. The bigger it gets, the more athletes get involved, and the more, and better, fights we get. End of story.

more thoughts & a Mir quote

after thinking on it a bit, I believe that Lesnar's "antics" come from a pretty deep-set sense of inadequacy. I wonder if he has a really teeny-weeny. Like a dickie-doo. We'll (hopefully) never know. For all of Lesnar's talk of "loving" the boos, you know it hurts. part of his journey from scripted circus clown to mixed martial arts is a quest for legitimacy, for the people to love him as an athlete. They don't. He's a jackoff, which he proved at his most emotional moment.

Frank Mir speaks up to the press, closing with

"Hopefully next time, I'll show him how somebody is supposed to act in victory."

While the interview has plenty of cockiness (bordering on seemingly self-delusional, but athletes always seem that way), it also has plenty of humility and congratulations for Lesnar. Mir is just not a jackoff like Lesnar.

So, hopefully Mir wins two or three in a row and we see Lesnar-Mir III. I'd pay for it.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

fuck brock lesnar.

some people are coming out defending lesnar. they're fucking idiots.

lesnar is basically a bigger, whiter, more racist and roided-out version of kimbo slice. he was the UFC's biggest, most widely viewed fighter, and he blew it completely. he won with zero skill, just his great bulk and strength (which is valid), but his utter, complete, thorough lack of class, sportsmanship, or intelligence has made him into a clown. a joke. a shame. i thought babalu holding a choke too long was grounds for him being kicked out. dan henderson's extra punch was bullshit. but lesnar's garbage act is the worst piece of shit move i've seen since i started watching MMA.

so lesnar supporters? you're wrong.

it begins...

yahoo, etc so far have articles questioning Brock Lesnar's sportsmanship. that's exactly the problem, for a sport that despite the image Dana White et al are trying to project is on the edge of mainstream acceptability. The coverage of UFC 100 on ESPN that I saw was pretty positive if a bit bland. Let's hope it doesn't turn into TOny Kornheiser yelping like a stricken kitten about how some other athlete wouldn't act like Brock Lesnar.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

UFC 100 thoughts

Brock Lesnar is huge and fought a smart gameplan. He's a total dicksucker though.
Hendo's shittiness in throwing the last bomb after Bisping was out only barely surpasses the awesomeness of the knockout. Too bad. It was an awesome, boneriffic KO though.
Akiyama was gifted that decision. I cannot conceive of how one judge gave it to him 30-27. Belcher has every reason to be upset about that.
Jon Fitch is Jon Fitch. GSP is GSP. Tough luck for Jon Fitch.
I wish they'd shown more undercard fights. Apparently the Sub of the Night footage they showed was almost all of the Lawlor-Dollaway fight. I like it when CB Dollaway loses.
Decent event, exciting fights. Not a bad card, though hardly the "historic" level they'd pumped it up to be.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

100 Reasons Not to do a 100 Greatest Fights List

Actually, just two:

1) Stupid
2) Subjective
3) Boring
OK, three. Save your time, don't read or watch that shit. Go outside and eat a pear under a tree.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Diaz-Riggs 2 at 170lbs?

So, what's the over under on Diaz's weight? I'm saying he comes in at...192, and gives up 20% of his purse, then whips on Diesel. Are there any good 170lbers for Diaz to fight outside the UFC? He's fighting mismatches, basically, though doing a good job of putting those mismatches to bed as he should.
While I still think Diaz is the prince of ass-clowns, he's a damn good fighter. I'd like to see someone bust him open. What about Mayhem? They could fight at a catchweight of like 200lbs so Nick won't have to skip a bongload.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

I just watched

some of the "Greatest 100 fights" or whatever they're calling the promo for 100 next weekend on spike. But it has a fatal error. It featured War "John 'War Machine' Koppenhaver" Machine. At all. The end. At least there's reruns of True Blood on.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Kid Nate joins the Idiot patrol *addendum

Here's KN managing to fit an assload of holier-than-thou into a couple sentences.

He clearly didn't watch the fight. The ref stopped it as soon as Rizzo took a nasty shot and was KO'd. The other damange that Rizzo took in the fight was lightning fast, and I'd challenge any ref to catch it as fast as whoever that ref was did. Bloody Elbow is rapidly leaking out of my feeds, as it's already dropped out of the "sites I recommend to anyone I know" list. Sure, they won't lose any sleep over it, but still, what a waste of fucking time that site has turned into. When Leland Rolling is the best they have to offer...and they JUST ADDED HIM A COUPLE MONTHS AGO, lord how they've fallen. A total testament to not ever reading your own press.

**You know, even Yvel says the stoppage was late, so maybe I'm wrong. I felt it was a reasonable stoppage watching live (on TV), and upon replay I felt the same. It happened very fast and the ref was right there, he MAYBE let one punch that shouldn't have through, but that happens in MMA. Is Gilbert the best judge of when a ref can stop a fight? I dunno. But I'm not in the ring, so I'll back off that point.
Bloody Elbow is still insufferably self-important though, and fuck them.

Ultimate Chaos SPOILERS pt 2

I still think the ref did a good job in that fight. Shit happened fast, and it looked like Rizzo took some damage that wasn't clear from the initial head kick. In ring interview...Gilbert is enormous-er than I realized. Yvel says "I want a belt...I want a big-ass belt"
Man, comparing the pain that Yvel brought (and I'd imagine Rizzo would have brought had the opportunity presented itself prior to being knocked into next week) to the earlier fights on the see the difference in levels. It's a big jump from the top of "B" level to the bottom of "A" level. And most of the dudes opening this up, no offense, were C level or so.
This PPV features between bout interviews with all the sponsors. Pretty interesting model. Honestly, I'm not bummed I paid for this. I'm enjoying the fights so far, even though there hasn't been anything like a decent grappling match. McKee-Thompson looked like it had the makings for some good grappling, but they ended up finishing with weird illegal blows. I'll have to email Tracy Lee (if she remembers me) and see what she thought.
Bob Sapp-Bobby Lashley hype now. Bob Sapp is a slick promoter. He needs to get himself in the promoting end of things. He's in full "Beast" mode too. Anyone who can make Lashley look small is pretty fucking huge. Bob weighed in at a relatively svelte 322 lbs., for a 66lb weight advantage. This is one of the most popular guys in Japan vs one of the most popular pro wrestlers. Weird.
Both guys promise a bullrush. Could be wild. I'm hoping they have all three rings out, the dancing poodles, the fire breathers, the sword swallowers, etc. Bob Sapp has a hilarious difference between his regular voice and his "Beast" voice, it's like my regular voice and my "Dad" voice when the kid gets uppity.
I seriously want to see the motley collection of cameras they've cobbled together for this. It's awesome the difference when they switch. That they're switching means they have a control station of some kind...
Ultimate Chaos features one of the single manliest ring girls I've ever seen on TV.
The in-ring guy is wandering around raising the roof before the fight. I like it!
Lashley walks out to the ATT banner. Not bad. Lashely is an enormous human being.
Eh. Bob Sapp is a circus act for sure now. Taps to strikes after a solid takedown by Lashley.
Overall the card was good, though the "co-main" event was a dud. Let's see Lashley against someone like Gilbert Yvel next. Bob Sapp is (yes, I knew before, but I didn't want to believe it) a joke.

Ultimate Chaos. Spoilers.

Well, of course I bought it. I bought fucking YAMMA, a card with Mark Kerr and Ricco Rodriguez on it. Why the hell wouldn't I pay money to see Bobby Lashley? Come on now.
Opens with TUF alum Danny Abbadi vs. Some guy named after Orzo pasta. Apparently its a rematch. Three round borefest that the announcers make out to be a thrilling war. Abbadi didn't bring pressure on TUF, and he doesn't bring pressure tonight, and loses a UD to the pasta.
Harris vs. harden something. Two guys with little cardio or technique. Seth Petruzelli and Colonel Bob are way too impressed with this fight. Arm triangle tapout for the one unimpressive fighter. I honestly forgot which one, the white guy.
Then we go to Tom Atencio, wealthy owner of Affliction at 42 years, vs John Hedderick, 25 year old first-timer. The kid takes it to Atencio in round one, dropping him legit at least once, and possibly pushing him off balance a couple other times, and connecting with some solid muay thai (but forgetting his leg kicks for some reason). Atencio displays outstanding recovery time. Round two, Atencio lines up a right that snaps the kid's nose, and he's basically done from then on, putting up little resistance, ending the round on the floor, and quitting (or having the doc stop it) on his stool. Excellent effort by Atencio, and a little mockery for Dana White in the post fight interview as well. Nice work, Mr. Atencio.
Brett Cooper vs. Spirit Wolf, with Dean Lister in his corner. They spar around, I watched Cooper destroy local San Diego product Pat Speight on an Affliction car a while ago. Spirit Wolf throws a MONSTER right directly on the "go to sleep, do not pass go" button, and it's over. Cooper wanders around like a dazed zombie.
Chris Horodecki vs Sriypai, a late replacement. Horodecki trades a bit on the feet and then does the weirdest thing I've seen him do...executes a nice takedown, and gets both hooks in. he looks a little lost trying to finish from the double hooks, but eventually works in a rear naked choke and wins. Bizarre win for Horodecki (which I always heard as "ho-ro-desk-ee", but the Colonel says "O-ro-deck-ee". whatever). Shawn Tompkins in "The Polish Hammer"s corner. Good job by Chris taking a sub win on an obscure card, guaranteeing a lack of damage for his upcoming fight in August...Brett Cooper should have called him and seen what was up there. The ring announcer got his name right. Weird. (Colonel just called him "ee-ro-dekki". haha)
You know, the production values aren't sky high, and the cams aren't perfect, but fuck, this is a pretty god damn decent card.
Mark Kerogosian, late replacement, fights another Javier Vazquez, since Din Thomas got sick cutting weight and can't make it. Weird thing for Din to have happen, he's cut a hundred times. Good luck to Mark...he'll need it. But of course, Spirit Wold needed it too, and luck tends to go to those who throw big-ass right hands.
What's with star tattoos? I have one for a specific reason...does EVERYONE have a deeply personal reason for a star tat? Damn I am not a special snowflake.
Almost a 30lb weight diff in favor of Vazquez, and a large height diff. Late replacements are always interesting. Will he come out swinging for the fences, like color commentator Seth Petruzelli did? Or is he going to try and play it safe? Dude can't lose if he goes out in a blaze.
Ring announcer did not manage to pronounce all of Kerogosian's syllables. Announcer troubles are always funny to me. Vazquez doesn't look that much bigger. Kerogosian looks a little like a tiny Dan Henderson. Vazquez grabs a guillotine and taps him after some flopping around. Both guys look disappointed with the fight. Vazquez has to be seriously disappointed...beating Din Thomas would have been a major notch in his belt, but choking out a last minute replacement was zero-reward 100% risk for him. Good job securing the win at least.
The in-ring interviewer is named "Bray Deavours". That's fuckin weard.
Colin McKee vs Lance Thompson, bonus fight. Walks out to Sunday Bloody Sunday, which I think was actually about a surprise menstrual attack. I'm not positive about that, but I'm going with it. The walk-outs for this event are weird, as soon as the guy hits the cage, they switch to the other fighter's music, before he does a run-around. Lance Thompson from Slidell, LA, walks out to Bush's "This Cloud" (I think that's what its called), the Most Unlikely Entrance Music of All Time. Yes, even moreso than Cro Cop's "Wild Boys". I hate Bush so fucking much I hope the get Exploding Cancer. I made up that disease just for them. Apparently this fight is at...174? Who knows. Things are getting odd. Lance looks like he's chiseled from fucking granite.
Fun aside: the ring announcer's mic just randomly cuts out. You can hear him "Check, check, check" ing between rounds. It sounds like he's insane.
No glove tap from McKee. Clinch to takedown, contested, but eventually Thompson spins to his guard and they're both on their feet. Funny, McKee high-fives him after the scramble. McKee shows an active guard, Thompson mounts. back to guard, good grappling. McKee is the bigger fighter, Lance shows good power. Nice g'n'p from Lance, illegal strike from Thompson. Thompson looks tired. Tapout from strikes for McKee. Weird ending. I think the illegal knee strikes had something to do with it, apparently I missed it, both fighters landed illegal blows. Tough ending. Never good when it's a cloudy finish. Even though the announcers say Thompson isn't complaining, he walked out before the hand-raising, which is a bit classless, in my book. Anyway, the Belfast boy wins.
So now it's Yvel vs Rizzo. Both guys coming off losses to Josh Barnett. Lots of "production value" for this fight, which is terrible. The cameras seriously look like handycams. There's maybe one good cam, the light is jarringly different from station to station. It makes you appreciate the UFC and Showtime quite a lot. Whoa, John Lewis in Gilbert's corner, I just watched him get KTFO by Jens Pulver on "Unleashed". The Rock comes out looking old and soft...but dude can hit. I'm actually impressed with this matchmaking. Two guys who will battle standing, and I'm willing to bet someone gets KO'd. While part of me would be giddy with a weird take down RNC win for Yvel or Rizzo, who doesn't like a throwdown standup war? It's not like it's Jorge Gurgel faking it, these are two dudes who've made their careers throwing leather. Pedro looks OK, I don't want to make anyone think he's a spongecake or anything.
Here we go! Of course..two kicks to a takedown. What the fuck? Rizzo's working from the full guard with big elbows. The announcers note that those are illegal 12 to 6 elbows. Interesting. Yvel has zero ground game, as usual. Scramble from Yvel, they both hit the feet, frantic strikes from Yvel and they connect, Rizzo is dropped, ground and pound from Yvel, Rizzo is out, it sounds like Yvel is tenderizing meat, the ref finally stops it. Brutal, brutal KO by Yvel, the commentators are pissed that the ref didn't stop it sooner. I thought the ref did a decent job considering what he was seeing. Those guys are looking at replays.
I'm going to save here and take a piss.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Dear WEC:

(I just watched Mike Brown vs. Leonard Garcia again)


Love, g

PS: Motherfuckers.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

I haven't watched the fight yet

but MAN, Diego Sanchez is so very, very annoying. His retarded "spiritual" bullshit, his lame smack, his love of ridiculous herbal remedies...yeccch. They're walking out to the cage now (I'm on the west coast, so I'm on tape delay), so I could be choking on it in a couple minutes, but whatever. Diego Sanchez is an obnoxious prick, and I hope Clay fucks him up.

And he's walking out to "We Will Rock You". Jesus. What a clown.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

TUF 10 is over

The takeaways I have for this season is that A) Mike Bisping is the biggest douchebag on the face of the planet, and 2) I cannot (and it shocks me to say this) wait for TUF to feature Kimbo Slice so I have something to give one shit about.

Bellator needs to be on normal ESPN.

I really, really, really want Clay Guida to ugly out another win over a TUF victor. While everyone else seems to hate it, I'd be happy with a lay and pray snoozefest like he pulled on Nate Diaz. Well, "lean'n'pray" anyhow.

I'm going to bed. Why don't TUF fighters do what their coaches say? It's ridiculous.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


I just watched the latest TUF episode Dent vs. Pearson, and was I watching something other than what Dana White was watching? That fight was boring as hell to me. There were some decent moments, but I actually faded out, and looked for animated lolcat gifs instead. The fighters clearly couldn't finish, had nearly no ground games or takedowns, and Dent's one-punch-then-cover-my-face attack was total crap. Sure there were some flurries but fuck that fight. I was rooting for Pearson at the end of the round even though his strikes apparently have the power of a wet noodle considering how many times he smacked Dent in the face to no apparent effect.
Maybe I just was out of whack watching, but that fight was total bore-town. Dollar-Winner (great name combo btw) was more entertaining and Winner smooshed him with the World's Slowest Triangle™.

Jose Aldo

The two fights I've seen with him have been short-lived affairs, nonetheless when I read someone (can't remember who) earlier speculating that since Waggney Fabiano is Aldo's teammate and also in line for a 145lb title shot, Aldo would drop to 135lbs and challenge Miguel Torres, I got semi. That could possibly be fireworks of the highest magnitude. The entire 145lb division is taking me from about 6 to 9 right now.

Forced to fight on?

The title of this article from Steve Cofield seems a little misleading...Jens Pulver isn't ever going to be "forced" to fight. He's going to forced to quit, if some commentators have their way. I think Lil Evil should fight for as long as he can make medicals. I blame some of the troubles he's had on the type of promotion he's gotten (which he no doubt had a hand in). But really, he's 1-6 against some high-level competition, not against a bunch of scrubs. Joe Lauzon was the only possible scrub fighter he's lost to recently. Other than that? Leonard Garcia, Urijah Faber? Please, did you get a look at that Grispi? He's a monster.
Jens, let me add my small voice: Keep fighting til you don't want to. This is what it's about, when everyone is against you doing it man. You still have people who cheer for you.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

it could have been worse

WTF is going on with TUF?

I know I post a lot of WTF is going on with TUF-type entries, but seriously, what the fuck is going on with TUF? They just added Roy Nelson, who held the IFL belt and fought Andrei Arlovski, and Wes Sims, who has 34 fights, including high-profile PPV bouts (as well as stomping on Frank Mir like a friggin insane idiot). They join Kimbo Slice, participant in the most-viewed fight in MMA history, who has been the recipient of his fair share of publicity. WTF? These are not unknowns. Is this a psuedo-repeat of season 4? Sims isn't exactly world-class, nor is Slice or Nelson, but they're legitimate fighters in my eyes. Well, except for Slice, who's done nothing to prove himself.
Also on the show are a few former football players with minimal experience, Marcus Jones, Matt Mitrione, Brendan Schaub and Wes Shivers...I can't imagine a dude with a 0-0 record coming in and doing anything other than get utterly smashed by a crazed bruiser like Nelson, to be honest. They are seriously just aiming for a freakshow finale...I can imagine that Dana White/Spike is hoping for a Kimbo Slice appearance in their finale. What more could they ask for? A proven ratings draw, and the cover to say "Well, I thought he was lame, but he proved he's for real!"
I'm actually interested now.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Oh, fuck you, Nick Diaz

Upfront: Diaz is tough, a great fighter, and he's becoming even better with every fight since his return from suspension.
That said, he's a complete asshole. His monkeying around in the ring EVERY SINGLE FIGHT is tiresome at best. His lisping hyperbole and incomprehensible smack talk gives me the foamy diarrhea. His idiotic devotion to pot points to a questionable IQ.
Leland Rolling seems to think he should be in the UFC because his abrasive personality will make hyping fights. They won't sign him because he's a dope who's got a history of testing positive for a drug test. UFC's IMAGE is more important that anything else right now, and Diaz would damage it because he's fuckin' dumb. No real other explanation needed, really.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

More Bullshit

this time from Kid Nate:

Its easy to Monday morning quarterback, but Greg Jackson's game plan clearly didn't work for Rashad Evans against Lyoto Machida.

Uh...also...maybe...did Evans EXECUTE the gameplan?

Sweet fight

Man Abel Cullem brings it every time he fights. He's out of the Clay Guida school of "crazy gorilla go go go go".

Thank you fightlinker for the heads-up.
One question: Mayhem's fight got stopped for an illegal kick to the head, but Tokoro lands several strikes with his foot and legs to the head while Cullem is grounded. What's the differentiation there? I don't know Dream's rules particularly (if that isn't obvious).

Saturday, May 30, 2009


so, the pros are spouting now. First, International Man of Douche, Matt Hughes:

“I went back and watched the Rashad fight again, and I think it comes down to bad coaching. In the prefight press conference, I heard Rashad say that he didn’t bring anybody in who would resemble Machida’s style. When I heard that, I knew that there might be some problems. That is probably a big reason why Rashad didn’t do very well in the striking area. I also think Rashad should have been coached on using his wrestling talent. He didn’t shoot one takedown that I can remember and he just made it a sparring match. If I was to coach Rashad against Machida, I would have told him to make it a fight, use his wrestling and groundwork to really dictate the match. Not just go out and spar with him. I think Rashad could have done a lot better in that fight. I’m not saying he should have won, but he’s a lot better than he showed on Saturday.”

Shawn Tompkins also weighs in, saying:
Rashad “gave Lyoto everything he needed to make himself look invincible” by failing to close the distance and use his strong wrestling skills.
(From MMMAnia)
Both guys somehow forgot that...wrestlers who tried to wrestle with Machida failed miserably. Notably, though I wouldn't call him JUST a wrestler, Tito Ortiz' takedown attempts were defended easily. This is one of the most dominant takedown artists the UFC's seen. He made his living defending the UFC LHW belt with basically brutal takedowns and G'N'P from the guard...and he couldn't put a dent in Lyoto. So this guy, who put Rashad on his ass for two rounds (and won that fight, in my book), can't wrestle Lyoto, yet Rashad could?
I agree you have to try something different than standing at range and letting Lyoto beat the shit out of you, but if you look at a fighter's history and see him absolutely ass-raping your particular discipline you really can't think, "Oh, I'll do that." You know why? You'll be ass-raped.
I have no idea how Machida gets beat. I have the same thoughts about Anderson Silva, and GSP.

On a side note, I watched Joe Warren vs. Kid Yamamoto, and holy lord, Joe is huge for a 145lber, at least next to Kid. Actually, is featherweight 145 in Japan? They use some alternate measurement system I can't be bothered to learn.

I gotta tell ya

my favorite part of UFC 2009 so far is getting Running Bitch Bisping on the ground and punching his face in. Since that'll never happen in real life unless he's somehow incapacitated, it's my sorry little joy. I also submitted Brock Lesnar 7000 times for fun.
Biggest disappointment? No fatalities. Whatever!

UPDATE: Church's Chicken coupon at the end of the instruction booklet? Made of awesome. You get to fight...and you get discounted chicken. Only a juggernaut like THQ/UFC could bring us this winner.

UPDATE UPDATE: It could be a mandatory coupon for "Man-lover's Anus Lube" and I'd still have bought this game.

Friday, May 29, 2009

best and worst

the best thing about Machida beating the holy hell out of Rashad is listening to the utter silence of almost every hater out there. Well, silence except for the jaws-slapping-on-the-floor sound.
the worst thing about it is listening to tons of ass-clowns pontificate on "how you beat Machida". Barf. If you're going to do it, come up with something new, OK?

Oh, another best thing is I WAS RIGHT, JERKS.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

TUF tonight

Mike Bisping goes from douche-strength to douche-strength. He purposely tosses water in someone's face, then lies about it to the camera. What a cunt. suck. You just suck in every way except fighting. Despite my total hatred of you as a person, I still respect your fighting ability, though in my dreams Dan Henderson actually pulls your head off and throws it at Queen Latifah. I don't know why that happens.

Anyways, another sloppy as hell fight, and Mr. Best UK Fighter quits on the stool between rounds. Frank Lester is a tough dude but seemingly unskilled...a takedown and he could have choked that guy out in a second...he wanted the excuse, as the quitting-on-the-stool proved. After the fight, surprise! Bisping breaks out some more douchiness and doesn't tell his fighter the truth about what a total cock-polisher he is for quitting.

Honestly, Bisping's whining, lying, and lack of anything resembling adult control of himself would be hilarious if it wasn't totally horrifying. Ah well, off to bed. Wonder what kind of royalty Hendo will lob a dome at tonight.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Oh am I glad it's a short week

I thought there were only two words I could see on Sherdog that would make me barf in my mouth a little (hint: rhymes with "Romas Tios", but then I saw a new one: "Charlatanry". Really? Why in fuck would you use that word, sherdog writer dick? Shut up!

Monday, May 25, 2009

the problem

with Bully Beatdown is that if a bully can run for long enough in the grappling round, he can win more money in the sub round then a lot of pro fighters can win in a pro fight.
But it is fun to watch these a-holes get the crap beaten out of them. I liked Jon Murphy's method against the rapper guy. No one likes a dude who pushes women around.

Of course, we have no idea what the editing was like on that show, either. What if they cut out the bit where Eric said, before the fight "I've decided to give all my winnings to homeless orphans. I hope I can change my ways."


Sunday, May 24, 2009


last night, explaining what was happening to a non-MMA fan friend who was watching UFC 98 with us, my brother was trying to explain Lyoto Machida to him. At one point, he stopped, nodded at me, and said "That guy's been saying Machida will be champ for two years".
We were chatting later, and both agreed that what we saw last night may be another evolution in the sport, much like the evolution from dominant BJJ or sprawl'n'brawl to wrestling, we now have two of the UFC champs as predominantly "elusive" counterstrikers. It's yet another puzzle that must be figured out by their opponents...much like Chuck Liddell was a puzzle, and Matt Hughes was a puzzle, and GSP is a puzzle right now. While the distaste in a lot of quarters is still idiotic, it is also irrelevant. While obviously Rampage could figure something out and end the "Machida Era" in the next fight, it seems unlikely. So go ahead and whine, Machida haters. It's pointless, you were wrong, and very, very dumb.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

UFC 98

Overall an excellent event. The championship fight turned out pretty much how I expected, and it was still breathtaking to watch Machida take Rashad apart. I gained a ton of respect for Rashad's toughness, but Machida is just on another level.
I have a problem with the Hughes decision. I don't think he really did much outside of the second round. I'd have given that fight to Serra.
Drew McFedries' fights are less of a martial arts chess match than jousting with semi trucks. You know something will happen, and it'll happen suddenly.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Typos are teh funz

Thomas Casale from 5oz.:

Rashad Evans vs. Lyoto Machida is now just hours away and the matchup between the two unbeaten lightweights can’t come soon enough for this MMA fan.

I did get an entertaining picture in my head of them as tiny little sherk-like creatures.

WTF Alistair? And Strikeforce?

Absentee "champ" Alistair Overeem is going to miss more time. He got in a fight at a club and cut his hand, apparently injuring it to the point of nearly losing it.
So he hasn't fught in Strikeforce in 19 months. Is he really the champ? He's as bad or worse than Cung Le. Can Strikeforce find any fighters who want to fucking stick around?
The article I link to is pretty deferential, too...painting everything as a "well, now you know" instead of "what a fucking fucktard move that was" incident. I say, strip that fuck of the belt and let Rogers and Arlovski bang it out for the strap.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

TUF stuff

Last night's episode wasn't half bad, even though most of the interest was for the last ten minutes of the show. Jason Pierce is out, which is fine by me. Outside of his one fight, did he contribute anything of interest to the show? Not one thing. His and Faulkner's love connection was not interesting or compelling at all.
The fight between Lawson and Dent was notable for Dent apparently forgetting he can fight for long stretches of time, and Lawson running so very out of gas I thought he would come out for the second round with a long cap and gown on, holding up a candle while yawning. Yes, the dude had a chest issue coming in, but man! You have to have an idea of your cardio coming in. If you know you've got nothing, finish in the first. Channel the Travis Lutter "engery".
At the end, they showed Bisping, who'd displayed very little moronic-Bispingness in the episode, throwing water in Damarques Johnson's face while walking by. Honestly, can Bisping be more of a douchebag? I'm seriously sad that "douchebag" is the worst thing I can think of to describe him. He consistently shows himself to be shallow, half-witted, and lacking knowledge of not only himself, but of life and anything outside his own tiny self. He's really the worst kind of person. And I don't even know why he tossed fluids on Johnson, I already felt that way. So here's hoping A) Bisping gets crushed by Hendo and 2) the world finally comes to realize what a d-bag he is. Posthumously.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

This post here

is why I quit going to fightlinker. Or posts of this sort. I don't mind Ryan and Jake going off on Machida, because they're funny, but that's just a load of horseshit. It's his opinion, but it's a dumb opinion. And the dig at other fans...lame.
I'll still read the feeds, fuck, I'm wearing a Fightlinker shirt as I type. I donate money so they can do their shit. But the other posters are crap.

Dear Blogs

I do not give one flying fuck if Dana White is on Jimmy Fallon's late-night TV abortion. Honestly there is not a night late enough that would make me want to watch that wretched pile of pig excrement. Not White, Fallon.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Random WTF post.

OK, I get in my feeds. This Cory Brady character has been churning out some god damned horrible stuff for them, but I couldn't get all the way through this article before I ran headlong into this typeset turd:

This fight just has fireworks written all over it. Tuchscherer is a two-time NCAA Division II All-American wrestler, while Puder was the first ever winner of WWE’s Tough Enough show.

That's right. Winning WWE's Tough Enough show a fighter. It's qualification as an actor, sure. As perhaps a rudimentary or mildly trained acrobat. As a potential wife-beater, for sure. But a fighter? The entirety of someone's pro wrestling career should be summed as "former pro wrestler". NOTHING ELSE NEEDS BE SAID. It's exactly the same as someone being a former secretary, or former zoo-animal-inseminator. It has zilch, zero, nothing, to do with fighting. It's an old job. Perhaps one involving a lot of men in tiny pants, but still just an old job.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Evangelista is planning on protesting

Billy Evangelista wants to protest the DQ loss to Mike Aina last night, but for the wrong reason:

“I feel bad at what happened, but I am definitely planning to protest,’’ Evangelista said. “Nothing I did was on purpose. I thought I had timed the knee perfectly and that he was on his feet when it was delivered.’’

Well, no. He was down, and you timed it totally wrong. You SHOULD protest the fact that the god damned knee NEVER HIT HIM IN THE HEAD. Kneeing to the head is illegal against a down opponent, but kneeing to the body is legal. Since when was the armpit a part of the head?
Aina is faking the hell out of this anyway. I lost some respect for him there.

Strikeforce Challenger: Mike Aina vs. Billy Evangelista

Aina has crazy eyes. He should have a win over Nick Diaz. Diaz's bong power carried him through, somehow.
So, a hometown guy who's not a total underdog. The arena doesn't look all that full. I wonder what Strikeforce will pull if they head out of Northern California.
Overall the production, if you don't count the voice of Mauro Ranallo, is pretty kickass. It strikes me as something that would look better in person than it does on TV. The crane cam is in full effect though.
I like Mike Aina. Guy's got heart, but he trains cardio like BJ. Evangelista kicks like Kongo!
I like combos that have a leg kick at the end. That's good stuff.
Eh...stupid knee by Evangelista, but it looks like Aina is faking it. Damn. This isn't even as hard a shot as Varner took against Cerrone. Dude, get up, come on.
That was not even a knee to the head. It was blocked. Shit, Aina is going to get a DQ win for a shot that didn't even land. Herb Dean is going to be pissed when he sees the replay. What a bullshit way for Evangelista to get his first loss. He should have never thrown that knee, of course, that's pretty clear. How on earth can they call it a no contest? I've never heard of an illegal blow no contest. Anderson Silva, Frank Shamrock, they both have illegal blow losses. Malaipet lost on one of the ShoXC fights for an illegal blow. No way it's a no contest.
Yeah, that's what I thought. Win via DQ for Aina. What a piece of junk. I'm not impressed with this. Aina has taken harder shots than that. He got kneed in the armpit. His holding his jaw made me think of an elementary school kid complaining of a stomach ache, holding his tum tum. would have never happened if Evangelista hadn't thrown the knee, no issue. So tough shit, Billy. Wise up. Rules are rules.

Strikeforce Challenger: Tate vs. Kaufman

Not a lot of fighting Jews in MMA? Krav Maga is more about disabling the testicles.
Tate fights out of Superman Hallman's gym. Dennis Hallman is the guy who got shafted the worst for not fighting in the UFC. This dude beat Matt Hughes twice, while Matt was considered the toughest motherfucker on the planet.
anyone else find it slightly hilarious that Miesha Tate has "Serious Pimp" across her boobs?
Chicks should get to fight five minute rounds. Tate got robbed after securing her takedown. You should have time to work a perfect double like that.
Ground an pound coming from Tate. This is a fantastic grappler vs striker fight. And we get 9 minutes. Wrong wrong wrong. Tate is losing her mud all over Kaufman.
Good lord Kaufman is pasty white gym rat colored.
Kaufman is strong like kosher ox.
These 3 minute rounds are robbery for the fighters. They don't get to work their games. Time runs out. Sucks. These women fight too fucking hard to get jobbed with 3 minute rounds. The fans don't see a finish, and the fighters get cheated out of a full fight. Ridiculous. Tate and Kaufman should be pounding on doors to turn this into five minute rounds. The MMA world will be better for it. It looks like a UD for Kaufman to me, 29-28, but we'll see.
What would your rabbi say about cagefighting?


Lavar Johnson's nickname is "Big"? His nickname is a Tom Hanks movie? Fuck that.
I think Carl actually had little birds flying around his head as he lay on his face, and heard that Looney Tunes "pastoral" music.
I liked Lavar Johnson's post-fight "If I can just collect a paycheck I'll be fine."

Friday, May 15, 2009

Strikeforce Challenger: Lavar Johnson vs. Carl Seumanutafa

Oh god Mauro Ranallo sucks. "A Rosa by any other name smells as sweet!" Mother. Fucker.
This is one angry Samoan coming in. I spelled his name right once, and now he will be called Carl.
Lavar Johnson is bringing his kids to the fight. Mark Coleman lost in front of his daughters, and made them cry, and Scott Smith won a litigious fight in front of his boys, and they grinned. Kids always seem to want to touch the injuries.
Johnson is a heavy hitter apparently. They only showed Carl highlights.
Johnson walks out to a decent rap song. Most rap walkouts are dumb, but this song works. It's got like horns in the background. What song is that?
245lbs vs 250lbs. I love it when big guys hook it up.
Apparently they handed out tickets at the local DQ because the fans here only know the local guy. Wev. Carl is on a 2 fight losing streak, the other guy is 11-3, I dunno where his career stands. Johnson is big as fuck. Taller than Herb "the Predator" Dean.

Strikeforce Challenger: Ruiz vs. Rosa

Rosa has Pete Spratt in his corner. They just showed Rosa beating the unholy hell out of some guy. In Adrenaline? Do they even stage fights after the Jason Guida curse?
Who did Anthony Ruiz get beat by, Whitehead? It sucks that a guy is five years younger than me and I think to myself "He's a little old".
Miletich is saying that the Quach-Jones fight should have been a draw. But he's discounting the fact that A) Quach fought back after he recovered, regardless of the knockdowns, and 2) the first KD was a little bit of a trip, if you look at the video again, he recovers immediately and goes for a leg.
Rosa looks soft for a light heavyweight. Maybe a middleweight waiting to happen . Rosa looks a little like a slightly uglier Stephen Bonnar. Gotta love the standing elbow from Ruiz. And the inside knees to the leg from the clich. Nice. Rosa with the asshole lock!
Asshole lock to double leg to BJJ is only gay if you make eye contact.
Damn unconsciousness choke. Ruiz has to go to work tomorrow morning too. Why put a local can up against the up-and-comer? Why not get a GOOD local fighter who's got a chance to win? Rosa's being groomed to fight for the LHW belt, Ruiz is...well, he's a god damned tough firefighter.

Strikeforce Challenger: Quach vs. Jones.

Got home in time for these fights...don't get ESPN Deportes or HDNet, so that's all I get!
Tito Jones vs. Bao Quach. Pat Miletich calls Urijah Faber's gym "the Midget Army". Urijah walked his man Jones out. Bao is my man...he reminds me of my little brother a tad. Bao looks solid. Strikeforce has no elbow strikes to the head of a downed no Unified Rules?
Easy fight to judge, Bao won two rounds. That kid Jones is tough and fast, but he has no experience. I love Bao Quach, the guy has enough heart for ten tiny guys.
Pat Miletich is an awesome announcer.
If I haven't said it before, MMA fans are the worst part of MMA.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


It's hard not to keep harping on Bisping, but every time that guy's on camera without coaching, he comes off as the World's Most Insecure Closeted Homosexual. His mockery of Team US's 1, 2, 3 USA chant, coming from a rah-rah douche like himself, was jaw-dropping stupid. As an aside, I really think he's rah-rahing because he's got very little else to offer except being a big wrestling dummy. I'd bet a dollar that Spike made him look a hell of a lot smarter by NOT showing his coaches explaining strategy to him, with that slow, patient voice you use when talking to a five year old.
The screwy part is that I don't think the guy is literally an idiot. I think he's just trying to put on a persona of leadership that he in no way fits into. He's a drunken young jock, and should be leading people in doing shots and speaking incomprehensible "English".
Even screwier? I believe Spike is trying to MAKE him look like a leader, for narrative purposes, and this is the best they can do with the footage they've got.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

mike bisping is a douchebag

Good god, how terrible is Bisping at everything? He honestly doesn't believe he belongs there, and he's trying to bluster his way through his insecurity.
It's painful to watch.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


So, since the UFC's Hall of Fame is stupid, useless, and a lie (because it doesn't have Frank Shamrock), then there should be an independent MMA HOF. Who wants to start it? I nominate Drew Fickett for "COCK SANDWICH" alone. He's so richly contributed to the vast, multicolored tapestry that is MMA.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Interesting article on the new Strikeforce replacement for ShoXC at The statement from Coker is funny though:

“This is where the men — and women — will be separated from the boys, so to speak. The growth and future of our sport just got a turbo injection. For regional fighters and up-and-coming men and women looking to test themselves against other top prospects and get on the fast track to stardom, SHO MMA: Strikeforce Challengers is the place to do it. I can’t wait for this first event.”

So far the competitors are Joey Villasenor, Cyborg Santos, Superman Hallman, Jorge Gurgel, and Corey Devala. That's 32 pro fights for Smokin Joe, 28 for Cyborg, 54 fights for Hallman, 17 for "What's jiu jitsu?" Gurgel, and 11 for Devela. 142 pro fights between those five guys. So basically, they'll have to book them against teenagers for this to be "up and comers".

Also, Benji Radach explains why he's appealing his loss to Hands (and Head) of Steel Smith. Nice work CP. That's a little...journalismish.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Good piece from Zach Arnold

Recco'd readin'


Here I was, thinking Luke Thomas was the only insufferable prick on Bloody Elbow's staff, and Wham! Michael Rome joins the fray! His whole article is basically a slow deepthroating of Brock Lesnar.

"It's also a bit hollow to criticize Brock for fighting for money. The man left a lot on the table by leaving professional wrestling, and he lives out in the woods in a cabin with no internet. The idea that he is just in it for the money is ridiculous, I'd like to see a comparison of Mir's lifestyle to Lesnar's to see who's really more interested in money."

Uh...have you seen his house? He left pro wrestling because it's a slog that destroys his body, doing dozens and dozens of shows a year. Rome follows with a weird statement that he'd like to see a comparison of lifestyles. Really? So Lesnar's massive spread "out in the woods" with his gym and vehicles and plane is..."a cabin"? Come the fuck on. I've seen the guy's house on the UFC's hype show. Just because a place is off the grid don't mean it's some backwoods shack, dummy. Lesnar may not ONLY fight for money, but Mir is exactly right that he wouldn't be doing it if there wasn't a ton of cash on the table. Of course, I don't think Mir would be doing it either. He'd surely be grappling, but I can't see him getting punched in the face if he didn't make good dough.

But overall, that Rome article is douchiness personified.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

PS World

See? I told you

Dear world

I tried really hard to care about Pacquiao-Hatton, I did. I like Pacquiao. Hatton seems a bit of a douche. They're both game fighters.
But I don't care.

That is all.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Jared Shaw sighting...please no

$kala is making some noise about coming back to MMA. He generally talks out of his ass, and this is no exception.

On a personal level, I think I took on a lot of blame that (shouldn’t necessarily) have been pointed in my direction. I certainly had my faults like anybody else. There was a lot to deal with, being 28 years old at the time, it’s a lot just to understand as you grow up,” he said.

28? You're "growing up" at 28? You spoiled fucking prick. Fuck you. I was the father of an 8 year old when I was 28. You know what I was doing? Being a GOD DAMNED GROWN UP you overfed, undertalented cockpolisher. Go back to hanging off daddy's massive teat and leave the hard work to people who don't need to "grow up".

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

more TUF

I'm fast forwarding through the man-drama. don't care. Dan Henderson looks like a non-inspirational coach. Bitchy jocks whining at each other makes me want to puke.

Evans-Machida spots: awesome. Square butts Burger King spots? Diarrhea-inducing.

Good god...all those guys are there for themselves. None of them are there for their teams. Bisping saying "there's no egos on our team" is fucking stupid. They're ALL ego. that they can put it aside for a little while doesn't mean they're free of ego.

Damarques vs. Dean. Dean calls out "there'll be some black on black crime!" Damarques is as black as Barack. Which is to say, not very.

How fucking hard are they trying to make Bisping not look like a moron? Notice they're only showing Bisping looking smart? Dean looks a lot like Dave Chapelle, but not interesting. Damarques is one of the guys I liked going in. He sounds like Forrest Griffin. Oy, pray monkey. Gross. These guys must all pray to Old Testament god. Jesus isn't down with punching faces in. Just saying.

Martin has a horrible ear. Oh tension, no Bisping.

Rampage/Sadollah mini-interview. Rampage says he howls because he was a big fan of Teen Wolf.

The "Guy's Choice Awards" on Spike awards "The Mantlers".

Well here we go. Tough matchup for Dean. Damarques is fast as shit. Damarques' kimura was close...triangle. Jeez how many times did they warn him? Mismatch. Damarques has to be a bit of a favorite now, along with Winner. Dean looked like he had zero idea what to do about Damarques' ground game, though. If Damarques learns to sprawl a little bit better...ah who am I kidding, it wasn't long enough to know what's what.

OH! And Dean officially Pulls a Wang. Gotta love it.

TUF ep 4

typical start, recapping the last ep

they're trying desperately to setup the "UK is a TEAM! US int!" angle, but honestly who gives a shit? You think those UK guys won't beat the living hell out of each other? What are they united by, a common hatred of arabs?

first fight andre winner, who impressed me in the UK qualifier, vs. santino, who should have been TKOd in his qualifier.

man just showing the warmup I hope Santino doesn't fight like that. His chin has a "hit here" sign hanging off it.

Its pretty effed up how soon after qualifying US has to fight.

they talk about "octagon jitters"...i think we get that in TUF as well as on the UFN's and PPV's. some guys just look intimidated, more by cameras than the crowd I'd imagine.

BTW, what was up with Running Bitch Bisping's paperwork in previous eps? He said his visa or whatever wasn't lined up...what's with that? did he show up with a bunch of heroin balloons up his ass? Curious minds want to know.

Oh that chin is up high...weird leg kicks from Winner, they're like with his foot, not his shin...Winner is A LOT faster...santino pulls guard? santino's ground game is OK off his back...or not, TKO for Winner. Winner is just better. Santino had no chance. Winner was really playing it safe.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Banned! I won't make any lame shirts. Maybe

Dear Luke Thomas: I knew you had no balls. You'll ban, then act like you're a media outlet (you're clearly just another blog, albeit a big one), rather than take any criticism at all, you huge douche. The irony is that the post I was reading when I realized I'd been banned was one where Thomas retardedly calls Kevin Randleman's bizarre rant "brave". Randleman also states he's "not Rampage. I'll go to jail for beating this guy's ass" (as if it was one person who said that, and not thousands of folks opining)...A) Why the sudden shot on Rampage? and 2) is it fearlessness or fucking stupidity? It's nor fearless to go, in a situation where it's CLEARLY not merited (ie NOT IN COMBAT), fucking nuts and hurt someone who is obviously no match for you (unless it was 'Page blogging), it's sociopathic. So, Luke Thomas loves sociopaths, and people who want to hurt others smaller than themselves. Of course, he was a Marine at some point, so that makes it all right. I guess.

That gets me back to the fact that Thomas was writing about bravery when he clearly left his own back in the Corps. Well, in honor of being banned (it's hard to make new accounts, I know), I'll say this:

Also, to be clear: Kevin Randleman's talk about beating people up who talk about him is stupid, disgusting, and makes everyone in MMA look a little more like idiotic street thugs. I guess 'roids stay in there fucking your brain up longer than anyone knew, huh Monster? What, he's going to beat me up? At least it'll be FOR something, rather than just a random steroid freakout where he imagines I'm a goblin eating his foot or some shit. So, good work Kevin. Good job representing your sport. If we do meet, I'll eventually (I hope) get out of the hospital, but you'll never get out of jail.

Add: Commenter on the Fighthype post puts it perfect:

Now Mr. Randalmen is upset because someone wrote a critical article about him because he dodged a tough opponent. He'll whip the reporters ass, and the fans' ass and on and on. He should have been concentrating on whooping Feijao's ass and he wouldn't have been perceived as such a pussy in the first place. You get paid to get punched in the face Randlemen!!! Quit your bitchin and stop dodging fights!!

Can you say pwned?

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