Friday, February 27, 2009

teh funz

Cage Potato posted this today. It is to lulz;

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Site note

I added a neat little widget to the right column that lets me share links I read and/or like and/or hate and/or click by mistake. So there's that.

WEC 39...anyone?

If a WEC card goes off and no one talks about it, does it actually happen? I read the linked article there and man...when Tomas Rios tries to write straight analysis, he's good. But when he's trying to be funny? Lord help us all, it's not a thing for civilized folk to see.
The card on Sunday should be awesome, though. The WEC generally puts together great cards, and they've gotten much better about airing them. When I was at 38 we got to watch them re-play an unaired fight while we waited around, which was pretty cool.
Mike Brown vs Leonard Garcia for the featherweight belt should be a great scrap. Both guys have skills and power, and a lot of heart. Brown is a very big FW, and bullies guys, while Garcia's been developing power at 145. If Leonard catches he can put anyone to sleep, but I see Mike winning this fight with a patient, deliberate gameplan by decision.
Lots of good fighters on the card, even with an injured Cleat Crunkilton missing. Bart Palaszewski is entertaing, and Jose Aldo is a guy to look for on his way up. Alex Karalexis is on the undercard, and hopefully he can pull out a highlight reel win to get aired. I'm excited for this event.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

UFC 95 thoughts

OK! Excellent event. I was trying to figure out my KO of the night, and initially I thought it was Nate Marquardt's KO of Wilson Gouveia, but on further reflection I have to give it to Hardy. He was in my book a dog to Markham, and did a number on an excellent fighter. Paulo Thiago is a close third place, with an out-of-nowhere KO of Koscheck. Koscheck loses massive points for being a classless jackoff and whining about the stoppage. Pure assclownery. "Paulo Thiago has some fundamental problems with his striking..." Thanks Joe. I just watched it for a third time, and it was still a correct stoppage. Referees don't judge stoppages based on what WILL happen in 3/8ths of a second. They base them on what just happened. So if Kos didn't want to get stopped, he shouldn't have gotten knocked out. End. Of. Story.
Gouveia-Marquardt strikes me as the most meaningful win of the night. Diego beating Joe Daddy, handing him is third straight loss, doesn't mean as much to me. Let's see Diego face a contender next. Gray Maynard? Clay Guida? Marquardt, however, beat a very tough opponent in devastating fashion, breaking him down over the course of the fight. It was more akin to two top-level boxers going at each other than what we've sometimes seen in MMA. My friend Zac noticed that Marquardt was hesitant to use his left hand. I didn't listen to the commentary for the most part, did anyone else see that? Whatever else is the case, Marquardt has earned himself a #1 contender fight, in my book. His prison-rape of Martin Kampmann, sending him right out of the division, and this clinical, skillful dispatch of a very tough opponent...give him a #1 fight, or give him a rematch with Anderson.
Per Eklund should go the way of Jorge Gurgel. Terry Etim looks like a real prospect. Junior Dos Santos...lord forbid we see more that a few minutes of the guy...who does he see next? Someone needs to give the guy a challenge.
Did anyone else see Ciesnolevicz ankle-locking Grove out as a replay, on an uglier scale, or Mir kneebarring Lesnar in their first match? Grove at 38 doesn't have a lot of leeway here...we'll see how long he lasts with the UFC's bigs. Another comparison is Cheik Kongo losing to Carmelo Marrero a while back...a big monster HW with zero ground game losing to a LHW taking the fight for a check and an opportunity. We'll see what happens I guess.
Demian Maia just straight up clowned on Chael Sonnen, who seemed to have forgotten that he's a Greco-Roman wrestler and got dumped on his stupid trash-talking ass before getting triangle-choked to oblivion. Maia is a legit contender. Maia-Marquardt? Right now I'd take Nate, even with Demian's super slick jits.
I'm guessing we'll next see Dan Hardy headlining the TUF Finale for the US vs. England show. I'm not convinced he's a real threat in the UFC, but he could sell some ad space for the English shows.
Overall I enjoyed this show greatly.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Who are the top welterweights not in the UFC?

The other day Jake Shields came up on a forum I visit. Someone said they wanted to see Semtex Daley in the UFC, and I said fuck Daley, I want to see the guy who clowned him, Jake Shields. The ensuing bullshit bored me, so I began thinking of top welters not in the UFC.
Shields is the top dog in my book. He's on a ten-fight streak with wins over Condit, Okami, Pyle, Daley, Verissimo, Thompson and Menne. He didn't look great on his feet against Daley, but who cares. He made him look like an amateur on the ground. In my book Jake is in the top five, and should be fighting in the UFC. Since that's not going to happen, and Nick Diaz is out since they both train at Cesar Gracie...
Eddie Alvarez...has fought at 170 and 155. He lost at 170 to Nick Thompson.
Nick "The Goat" Thompson would be an interesting matchup if they hadn't already fought. Even though he lost, I'd still watch a rematch. Thompson is a quality fighter with a shitload of experience(48 fights before 30 years old) who always comes hard.
Frank "Twinkle Toes" Trigg is a 170 pound stalwart who's working a decent streak, 4-1 since two Februarys ago. He's fought the best in the world to mixed results, but no one could argue with you if you said he was the #1 contender for your 170lb belt.
Jason "Mayhem" Miller retired not too long ago, and said he was through with fighting, but recently unretired to book a fight against...
Kala "Kolohe" Hose at Kingdom MMA (err...Zombie ICON), who beat down Phil "The Long Nickname" Baroni to take ICON's non-existant belt at 185. Hose could make 170 easy, and is an entertaining, young brawler. "Iron" Mike Aina is another Hawaiian who can bang at 170.
Nick Diaz is a fighter who's booked for a retarded matchup with Frank Shamrock that means nothing to anyone except their dependents. But it's Strikeforce's big coming-out party, so they need to make a splash.

Some other guys either down the list or who I haven't seen enough of:
Delson Heleno
Thiago "Jambo" Goncalves
Jay Heiron
Mike Dolce
Antonio McKee
Drew Fickett

Jambo Goncalves is an interesting fighter, worth checking out his Youtube stuff. Drew Fickett could be the shit if he wakes up and puts down the brew.
This shit is very rough, so tell me where I'm wrong and who I forgot or didn't know about. I'd appreciate it.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Werdum translates funny

Werdum in Tatame. Why aren't there any good Portuguese translators?

Fedor, Arlovski ou Josh Barnett. If you could choose, who would you like to face? (Felipe Teixeira de Oliveira)

I would fight with anyone, but if I could choose, I would like to make a rematch with Arlovski. That fight wasn’t cool, it was a debut against an ex-champion. Some people said that I won, others that he won or tied, but I want a rematch with him and then fight with Fedor, which is the will of everyone, he is the best in the world. This thing of saying that (Brock) Lesnar is the best in the world doesn’t exist, I’m against that. The guy has four fights and is already the world champion? Everybody knows that Fedor is the best. In heavy, I think the best are in Affliction. Apart from Minotauro, the rest in the UFC are weak. The UFC has what he wanted, two Americans to fight the "final". The marketing is the most important thing, they are good at it. Frank Mir also, this final among them doesn’t exist.

In a future fight against Fedor, what would be the strategy to defeat him? (Felipe Teixeira de Oliveira)

I would do something really simple, try to put him down. It is difficult to get the fat go down, but I would be on top, passing the guard and mount, get a kimura... It is hard to beat Fedor in the ass, giving him punches down. It can happen, but it will be very difficult to punch him and stop him, you have to get him at a key for him to surrender. I think he lets his arm broke, but don’t hit. Must be in the neck to put him to sleep. I would train much Wrestling to put him down and, if I were below, I would be with a very close guard.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


So, Frank is supposedly fighting Nick Diaz at 179lbs, because what the fuck? Why not? I think they could fight at 111lbs, or 23lbs! WHY NOT!

Then KEN is fighting a 6' 8" 340-360lb bag of blubber named Ross Clifton (there's a town called Clifton in Colorado. Could he be the town?). Ken, 2-8 in his last ten and notably KO'd by a stiff breeze against Buzz Berry at Cage Rage, is claiming he can fight for a paycheck as long as he wants/can get licensed for, because of what he's done for the sport. I agree to an extent, provided he's not getting killed in the ring.

There's a kickass card coming up for MFC, headlined by Pat Healy vs Ryan Ford, for Healy's Middleweight belt. The whole card is mighty nice:

Ryan Ford VS Pat Healy
Paul Daley VS Nick Thompson
Antonio McKee VS Derrick Noble
Rory Singer VS Bryan Baker
Solomon Hutcherson VS Dave Mewborn
Roger Hollett VS David Heath
Simon Marini VS Ryan Machan
Donovan Foley VS Josh Russell
Jason Heit VS Sheldon Westcott
Kyle Dietz VS Evan Sanguin
Mike Sorenson VS Jesse Clarke

Sunday, February 8, 2009

and the award for...

...most easily misunderstood article title goes toooooo

Five Ounces of Pain!

"Fix" only means one thing.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

UFN 17 thoughts

The main event of Ultimate Fight Night 17, Lauzon vs. Stephens, was an entertaining scrap. At one point it looke like Lauzon was quitting, immediately after getting cut. But either he recovered or was playing possum. Lauzon's ground game was something to behold, and even Stephens showed some skill in scrambling with Joe. Ultimately Stephens was outclassed on the ground. He's 22, Lauzon's 24, hopefully we'll see these guys improve to PPV status soon.
Miller vs Rosholt was a nice inclusion. They threw in two undercard fights on a free UFN, so I'm happy. Miller showed that his family is a force to be reckoned with, and his guillotine can come from anywhere, apparently.
Velazquez-Stojnic was unusual for it's ending. Who does Velazquez fight next? Shane Carwin? Shane vs. Cain? Stojnic...he's tough, but hopefully we don't have to see him again.
Josh Neer needs a real step up the ladder fight next. he's the current Rich Clementi of the division. I admit I did bad in picking Danzig. He doesn't seem to have the size or strength to compete with the UFC's LW division. I guess we're stuck with him because of the "6 figure contract" from TUF, but really...he's a huge disappointment.
Grice vs Veach, frankly, was garbage. Those guys when too hard to be stopped like that. Veach got knocked down harder and ate as many punches and wasn't stopped, yet Grice is after eating one solid punch on the ground? Garbage.
Hopefully some of the other fights will show up. Looks like a display of jits went on for this card. 6 of the ten fights are listed as subs, and a seventh should be. Johnson-Fioravanti should be submission to strikes, since Luigi tapped. Small nit to pick at, but I will.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Oh War Machine

Please, go away. You just suck. There's something you don't understand. You can say whatever you want. You can't say whatever you want without consequences. That's something you don't get. Here it is in plain language.

You can say "I hope someone shoots the president" all day and all night. But other people have an equal right to react to and respond to what you say.

Oh War Machine. At some point you're gonna look back and think "What the fuck was wrong with me?" You could be a good guy. Think about it.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

2008 Irrelevants Winners

So I'm watching the same episode of House for the third time in like four days, and a sit bolt upright, dislodging the cat and a beer and realize I forgot entirely about my lame awards. After doze- several people took the time to vote for them, even. So I feverishly tallied up the vote(s), then ignor- and used the total to pick the winners. Here's they are.

Cutest Fighter (Male)
Roger "Senorita bonita" Huerta

Photo By the lovely and talented Tracy Lee at

Roger made some serious waves in MMA, hitting the cover of SI, being seen with Laura Prepon (I bet she smells nice), and getting beaten by a far uglier Kenny Florian. Then the bombshell: retirement. So, hasta la vista, Roger. Consider this Irrelevant Award a lifetime achievement as well, and enjoy the spanish-language soap operas.

Best FUB
Roy "This belly has seen...things, man. Things." Nelson

I initially forgot to put Roy on here, and almost shot myself in the face when I realized how incompetent I was. Roy wins hands down for the best FUB in MMA. If it wasn't for Kevin James he'd win for the world.

Extra Best Facial Hair
Evan Tanner

Was there ever any doubt? Evan is the man. Rest in peace, brother.

Most Outstanding Pants
Shinya "These Legs Were Made for Choking" Aoki

What can I say? The man knows how to accessorize.

Bitterest Blogger
Jake & Ryan at Fightlinker

Photo By the lovely and talented Tracy Lee at

At first, I doubted the results of the iron-clad democratic process I followed (looking at comments threads) but after some consideration, and listening to the Canadian angst over the GSP grease thing, and Jake's manic, near-panicky distaste for Machida (what else can the guy do, Jake? Come on!) I realized the intrinsic wisdom of the finicky mob that reads MMA blogs.

That's it. Thanks for the meager harvest of votes, you lazy bastards. next year, I'll punish you by waiting even longer, so when Clint and Eric remember that I didn't do this, the disappointment will be even more palpable. PALPABLE I SAY.

E-fuckin-nough already

Listening to Joe Lauzon bicker and bitch online is getting very tiresome. Add that to BJ and the Grease (sing it to the tune of "Benny and the Jets"!) and we've had a thoroughly annoying week leading up to the UFN event on Saturday. Here's hoping there's some great fights, and Jeremy Stephens can stay the fuck off the ground and give us some entertainment before he gets submitted.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

MMARatings article

I put a follow-up article on the least-wanted LWHs up at Excerpt:

I held off writing this until after the Machida-Silva fight. I had predicted an entertaining fight, but a dominating win for Machida. I was right on both counts, though it was mostly entertaining to Lyoto, his fans, and dependents. He absolutely destroyed Silva, who managed to barely throw any strikes at all prior to a devastating KO as the first round buzzer sounded. After the fight Machida told the crowd he'd fight anyone. I have no reason to doubt he'd win, too.
As an aside, There's something of a "Machida Derangement Syndrome" in the ranks of MMA fandom that's far worse than the hatred for BJ Penn. It makes it hard to read the blogs when all they can manage is yelping and whining about Machida "running". It's tiresome and embarrassing, frankly. Get the hell over it already, you're making fools of yourselves.

Just a note: Please give generously to help us win the battle against Machida Derangement Syndrome. It's debilitating to those who suffer from it, and causes crippling stupidity and an inability to lucidly write a single fuckin' word.

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