Saturday, June 27, 2009

Kid Nate joins the Idiot patrol *addendum

Here's KN managing to fit an assload of holier-than-thou into a couple sentences.

He clearly didn't watch the fight. The ref stopped it as soon as Rizzo took a nasty shot and was KO'd. The other damange that Rizzo took in the fight was lightning fast, and I'd challenge any ref to catch it as fast as whoever that ref was did. Bloody Elbow is rapidly leaking out of my feeds, as it's already dropped out of the "sites I recommend to anyone I know" list. Sure, they won't lose any sleep over it, but still, what a waste of fucking time that site has turned into. When Leland Rolling is the best they have to offer...and they JUST ADDED HIM A COUPLE MONTHS AGO, lord how they've fallen. A total testament to not ever reading your own press.

**You know, even Yvel says the stoppage was late, so maybe I'm wrong. I felt it was a reasonable stoppage watching live (on TV), and upon replay I felt the same. It happened very fast and the ref was right there, he MAYBE let one punch that shouldn't have through, but that happens in MMA. Is Gilbert the best judge of when a ref can stop a fight? I dunno. But I'm not in the ring, so I'll back off that point.
Bloody Elbow is still insufferably self-important though, and fuck them.

Ultimate Chaos SPOILERS pt 2

I still think the ref did a good job in that fight. Shit happened fast, and it looked like Rizzo took some damage that wasn't clear from the initial head kick. In ring interview...Gilbert is enormous-er than I realized. Yvel says "I want a belt...I want a big-ass belt"
Man, comparing the pain that Yvel brought (and I'd imagine Rizzo would have brought had the opportunity presented itself prior to being knocked into next week) to the earlier fights on the see the difference in levels. It's a big jump from the top of "B" level to the bottom of "A" level. And most of the dudes opening this up, no offense, were C level or so.
This PPV features between bout interviews with all the sponsors. Pretty interesting model. Honestly, I'm not bummed I paid for this. I'm enjoying the fights so far, even though there hasn't been anything like a decent grappling match. McKee-Thompson looked like it had the makings for some good grappling, but they ended up finishing with weird illegal blows. I'll have to email Tracy Lee (if she remembers me) and see what she thought.
Bob Sapp-Bobby Lashley hype now. Bob Sapp is a slick promoter. He needs to get himself in the promoting end of things. He's in full "Beast" mode too. Anyone who can make Lashley look small is pretty fucking huge. Bob weighed in at a relatively svelte 322 lbs., for a 66lb weight advantage. This is one of the most popular guys in Japan vs one of the most popular pro wrestlers. Weird.
Both guys promise a bullrush. Could be wild. I'm hoping they have all three rings out, the dancing poodles, the fire breathers, the sword swallowers, etc. Bob Sapp has a hilarious difference between his regular voice and his "Beast" voice, it's like my regular voice and my "Dad" voice when the kid gets uppity.
I seriously want to see the motley collection of cameras they've cobbled together for this. It's awesome the difference when they switch. That they're switching means they have a control station of some kind...
Ultimate Chaos features one of the single manliest ring girls I've ever seen on TV.
The in-ring guy is wandering around raising the roof before the fight. I like it!
Lashley walks out to the ATT banner. Not bad. Lashely is an enormous human being.
Eh. Bob Sapp is a circus act for sure now. Taps to strikes after a solid takedown by Lashley.
Overall the card was good, though the "co-main" event was a dud. Let's see Lashley against someone like Gilbert Yvel next. Bob Sapp is (yes, I knew before, but I didn't want to believe it) a joke.

Ultimate Chaos. Spoilers.

Well, of course I bought it. I bought fucking YAMMA, a card with Mark Kerr and Ricco Rodriguez on it. Why the hell wouldn't I pay money to see Bobby Lashley? Come on now.
Opens with TUF alum Danny Abbadi vs. Some guy named after Orzo pasta. Apparently its a rematch. Three round borefest that the announcers make out to be a thrilling war. Abbadi didn't bring pressure on TUF, and he doesn't bring pressure tonight, and loses a UD to the pasta.
Harris vs. harden something. Two guys with little cardio or technique. Seth Petruzelli and Colonel Bob are way too impressed with this fight. Arm triangle tapout for the one unimpressive fighter. I honestly forgot which one, the white guy.
Then we go to Tom Atencio, wealthy owner of Affliction at 42 years, vs John Hedderick, 25 year old first-timer. The kid takes it to Atencio in round one, dropping him legit at least once, and possibly pushing him off balance a couple other times, and connecting with some solid muay thai (but forgetting his leg kicks for some reason). Atencio displays outstanding recovery time. Round two, Atencio lines up a right that snaps the kid's nose, and he's basically done from then on, putting up little resistance, ending the round on the floor, and quitting (or having the doc stop it) on his stool. Excellent effort by Atencio, and a little mockery for Dana White in the post fight interview as well. Nice work, Mr. Atencio.
Brett Cooper vs. Spirit Wolf, with Dean Lister in his corner. They spar around, I watched Cooper destroy local San Diego product Pat Speight on an Affliction car a while ago. Spirit Wolf throws a MONSTER right directly on the "go to sleep, do not pass go" button, and it's over. Cooper wanders around like a dazed zombie.
Chris Horodecki vs Sriypai, a late replacement. Horodecki trades a bit on the feet and then does the weirdest thing I've seen him do...executes a nice takedown, and gets both hooks in. he looks a little lost trying to finish from the double hooks, but eventually works in a rear naked choke and wins. Bizarre win for Horodecki (which I always heard as "ho-ro-desk-ee", but the Colonel says "O-ro-deck-ee". whatever). Shawn Tompkins in "The Polish Hammer"s corner. Good job by Chris taking a sub win on an obscure card, guaranteeing a lack of damage for his upcoming fight in August...Brett Cooper should have called him and seen what was up there. The ring announcer got his name right. Weird. (Colonel just called him "ee-ro-dekki". haha)
You know, the production values aren't sky high, and the cams aren't perfect, but fuck, this is a pretty god damn decent card.
Mark Kerogosian, late replacement, fights another Javier Vazquez, since Din Thomas got sick cutting weight and can't make it. Weird thing for Din to have happen, he's cut a hundred times. Good luck to Mark...he'll need it. But of course, Spirit Wold needed it too, and luck tends to go to those who throw big-ass right hands.
What's with star tattoos? I have one for a specific reason...does EVERYONE have a deeply personal reason for a star tat? Damn I am not a special snowflake.
Almost a 30lb weight diff in favor of Vazquez, and a large height diff. Late replacements are always interesting. Will he come out swinging for the fences, like color commentator Seth Petruzelli did? Or is he going to try and play it safe? Dude can't lose if he goes out in a blaze.
Ring announcer did not manage to pronounce all of Kerogosian's syllables. Announcer troubles are always funny to me. Vazquez doesn't look that much bigger. Kerogosian looks a little like a tiny Dan Henderson. Vazquez grabs a guillotine and taps him after some flopping around. Both guys look disappointed with the fight. Vazquez has to be seriously disappointed...beating Din Thomas would have been a major notch in his belt, but choking out a last minute replacement was zero-reward 100% risk for him. Good job securing the win at least.
The in-ring interviewer is named "Bray Deavours". That's fuckin weard.
Colin McKee vs Lance Thompson, bonus fight. Walks out to Sunday Bloody Sunday, which I think was actually about a surprise menstrual attack. I'm not positive about that, but I'm going with it. The walk-outs for this event are weird, as soon as the guy hits the cage, they switch to the other fighter's music, before he does a run-around. Lance Thompson from Slidell, LA, walks out to Bush's "This Cloud" (I think that's what its called), the Most Unlikely Entrance Music of All Time. Yes, even moreso than Cro Cop's "Wild Boys". I hate Bush so fucking much I hope the get Exploding Cancer. I made up that disease just for them. Apparently this fight is at...174? Who knows. Things are getting odd. Lance looks like he's chiseled from fucking granite.
Fun aside: the ring announcer's mic just randomly cuts out. You can hear him "Check, check, check" ing between rounds. It sounds like he's insane.
No glove tap from McKee. Clinch to takedown, contested, but eventually Thompson spins to his guard and they're both on their feet. Funny, McKee high-fives him after the scramble. McKee shows an active guard, Thompson mounts. back to guard, good grappling. McKee is the bigger fighter, Lance shows good power. Nice g'n'p from Lance, illegal strike from Thompson. Thompson looks tired. Tapout from strikes for McKee. Weird ending. I think the illegal knee strikes had something to do with it, apparently I missed it, both fighters landed illegal blows. Tough ending. Never good when it's a cloudy finish. Even though the announcers say Thompson isn't complaining, he walked out before the hand-raising, which is a bit classless, in my book. Anyway, the Belfast boy wins.
So now it's Yvel vs Rizzo. Both guys coming off losses to Josh Barnett. Lots of "production value" for this fight, which is terrible. The cameras seriously look like handycams. There's maybe one good cam, the light is jarringly different from station to station. It makes you appreciate the UFC and Showtime quite a lot. Whoa, John Lewis in Gilbert's corner, I just watched him get KTFO by Jens Pulver on "Unleashed". The Rock comes out looking old and soft...but dude can hit. I'm actually impressed with this matchmaking. Two guys who will battle standing, and I'm willing to bet someone gets KO'd. While part of me would be giddy with a weird take down RNC win for Yvel or Rizzo, who doesn't like a throwdown standup war? It's not like it's Jorge Gurgel faking it, these are two dudes who've made their careers throwing leather. Pedro looks OK, I don't want to make anyone think he's a spongecake or anything.
Here we go! Of course..two kicks to a takedown. What the fuck? Rizzo's working from the full guard with big elbows. The announcers note that those are illegal 12 to 6 elbows. Interesting. Yvel has zero ground game, as usual. Scramble from Yvel, they both hit the feet, frantic strikes from Yvel and they connect, Rizzo is dropped, ground and pound from Yvel, Rizzo is out, it sounds like Yvel is tenderizing meat, the ref finally stops it. Brutal, brutal KO by Yvel, the commentators are pissed that the ref didn't stop it sooner. I thought the ref did a decent job considering what he was seeing. Those guys are looking at replays.
I'm going to save here and take a piss.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Dear WEC:

(I just watched Mike Brown vs. Leonard Garcia again)


Love, g

PS: Motherfuckers.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

I haven't watched the fight yet

but MAN, Diego Sanchez is so very, very annoying. His retarded "spiritual" bullshit, his lame smack, his love of ridiculous herbal remedies...yeccch. They're walking out to the cage now (I'm on the west coast, so I'm on tape delay), so I could be choking on it in a couple minutes, but whatever. Diego Sanchez is an obnoxious prick, and I hope Clay fucks him up.

And he's walking out to "We Will Rock You". Jesus. What a clown.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

TUF 10 is over

The takeaways I have for this season is that A) Mike Bisping is the biggest douchebag on the face of the planet, and 2) I cannot (and it shocks me to say this) wait for TUF to feature Kimbo Slice so I have something to give one shit about.

Bellator needs to be on normal ESPN.

I really, really, really want Clay Guida to ugly out another win over a TUF victor. While everyone else seems to hate it, I'd be happy with a lay and pray snoozefest like he pulled on Nate Diaz. Well, "lean'n'pray" anyhow.

I'm going to bed. Why don't TUF fighters do what their coaches say? It's ridiculous.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


I just watched the latest TUF episode Dent vs. Pearson, and was I watching something other than what Dana White was watching? That fight was boring as hell to me. There were some decent moments, but I actually faded out, and looked for animated lolcat gifs instead. The fighters clearly couldn't finish, had nearly no ground games or takedowns, and Dent's one-punch-then-cover-my-face attack was total crap. Sure there were some flurries but fuck that fight. I was rooting for Pearson at the end of the round even though his strikes apparently have the power of a wet noodle considering how many times he smacked Dent in the face to no apparent effect.
Maybe I just was out of whack watching, but that fight was total bore-town. Dollar-Winner (great name combo btw) was more entertaining and Winner smooshed him with the World's Slowest Triangle™.

Jose Aldo

The two fights I've seen with him have been short-lived affairs, nonetheless when I read someone (can't remember who) earlier speculating that since Waggney Fabiano is Aldo's teammate and also in line for a 145lb title shot, Aldo would drop to 135lbs and challenge Miguel Torres, I got semi. That could possibly be fireworks of the highest magnitude. The entire 145lb division is taking me from about 6 to 9 right now.

Forced to fight on?

The title of this article from Steve Cofield seems a little misleading...Jens Pulver isn't ever going to be "forced" to fight. He's going to forced to quit, if some commentators have their way. I think Lil Evil should fight for as long as he can make medicals. I blame some of the troubles he's had on the type of promotion he's gotten (which he no doubt had a hand in). But really, he's 1-6 against some high-level competition, not against a bunch of scrubs. Joe Lauzon was the only possible scrub fighter he's lost to recently. Other than that? Leonard Garcia, Urijah Faber? Please, did you get a look at that Grispi? He's a monster.
Jens, let me add my small voice: Keep fighting til you don't want to. This is what it's about, when everyone is against you doing it man. You still have people who cheer for you.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

it could have been worse

WTF is going on with TUF?

I know I post a lot of WTF is going on with TUF-type entries, but seriously, what the fuck is going on with TUF? They just added Roy Nelson, who held the IFL belt and fought Andrei Arlovski, and Wes Sims, who has 34 fights, including high-profile PPV bouts (as well as stomping on Frank Mir like a friggin insane idiot). They join Kimbo Slice, participant in the most-viewed fight in MMA history, who has been the recipient of his fair share of publicity. WTF? These are not unknowns. Is this a psuedo-repeat of season 4? Sims isn't exactly world-class, nor is Slice or Nelson, but they're legitimate fighters in my eyes. Well, except for Slice, who's done nothing to prove himself.
Also on the show are a few former football players with minimal experience, Marcus Jones, Matt Mitrione, Brendan Schaub and Wes Shivers...I can't imagine a dude with a 0-0 record coming in and doing anything other than get utterly smashed by a crazed bruiser like Nelson, to be honest. They are seriously just aiming for a freakshow finale...I can imagine that Dana White/Spike is hoping for a Kimbo Slice appearance in their finale. What more could they ask for? A proven ratings draw, and the cover to say "Well, I thought he was lame, but he proved he's for real!"
I'm actually interested now.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Oh, fuck you, Nick Diaz

Upfront: Diaz is tough, a great fighter, and he's becoming even better with every fight since his return from suspension.
That said, he's a complete asshole. His monkeying around in the ring EVERY SINGLE FIGHT is tiresome at best. His lisping hyperbole and incomprehensible smack talk gives me the foamy diarrhea. His idiotic devotion to pot points to a questionable IQ.
Leland Rolling seems to think he should be in the UFC because his abrasive personality will make hyping fights. They won't sign him because he's a dope who's got a history of testing positive for a drug test. UFC's IMAGE is more important that anything else right now, and Diaz would damage it because he's fuckin' dumb. No real other explanation needed, really.

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