Shamrockia

So, Frank is supposedly fighting Nick Diaz at 179lbs, because what the fuck? Why not? I think they could fight at 111lbs, or 23lbs! WHY NOT!

Then KEN is fighting a 6' 8" 340-360lb bag of blubber named Ross Clifton (there's a town called Clifton in Colorado. Could he be the town?). Ken, 2-8 in his last ten and notably KO'd by a stiff breeze against Buzz Berry at Cage Rage, is claiming he can fight for a paycheck as long as he wants/can get licensed for, because of what he's done for the sport. I agree to an extent, provided he's not getting killed in the ring.

There's a kickass card coming up for MFC, headlined by Pat Healy vs Ryan Ford, for Healy's Middleweight belt. The whole card is mighty nice:

Ryan Ford VS Pat Healy
Paul Daley VS Nick Thompson
Antonio McKee VS Derrick Noble
Rory Singer VS Bryan Baker
Solomon Hutcherson VS Dave Mewborn
Roger Hollett VS David Heath
Simon Marini VS Ryan Machan
Donovan Foley VS Josh Russell
Jason Heit VS Sheldon Westcott
Kyle Dietz VS Evan Sanguin
Mike Sorenson VS Jesse Clarke

and the award for...

...most easily misunderstood article title goes toooooo

Five Ounces of Pain!
"Fix" only means one thing.

UFN 17 thoughts

The main event of Ultimate Fight Night 17, Lauzon vs. Stephens, was an entertaining scrap. At one point it looke like Lauzon was quitting, immediately after getting cut. But either he recovered or was playing possum. Lauzon's ground game was something to behold, and even Stephens showed some skill in scrambling with Joe. Ultimately Stephens was outclassed on the ground. He's 22, Lauzon's 24, hopefully we'll see these guys improve to PPV status soon.
Miller vs Rosholt was a nice inclusion. They threw in two undercard fights on a free UFN, so I'm happy. Miller showed that his family is a force to be reckoned with, and his guillotine can come from anywhere, apparently.
Velazquez-Stojnic was unusual for it's ending. Who does Velazquez fight next? Shane Carwin? Shane vs. Cain? Stojnic...he's tough, but hopefully we don't have to see him again.
Josh Neer needs a real step up the ladder fight next. he's the current Rich Clementi of the division. I admit I did bad in picking Danzig. He doesn't seem to have the size or strength to compete with the UFC's LW division. I guess we're stuck with him because of the "6 figure contract" from TUF, but really...he's a huge disappointment.
Grice vs Veach, frankly, was garbage. Those guys when too hard to be stopped like that. Veach got knocked down harder and ate as many punches and wasn't stopped, yet Grice is after eating one solid punch on the ground? Garbage.
Hopefully some of the other fights will show up. Looks like a display of jits went on for this card. 6 of the ten fights are listed as subs, and a seventh should be. Johnson-Fioravanti should be submission to strikes, since Luigi tapped. Small nit to pick at, but I will.

Oh War Machine

Please, go away. You just suck. There's something you don't understand. You can say whatever you want. You can't say whatever you want without consequences. That's something you don't get. Here it is in plain language.

You can say "I hope someone shoots the president" all day and all night. But other people have an equal right to react to and respond to what you say.

Oh War Machine. At some point you're gonna look back and think "What the fuck was wrong with me?" You could be a good guy. Think about it.

2008 Irrelevants Winners

So I'm watching the same episode of House for the third time in like four days, and a sit bolt upright, dislodging the cat and a beer and realize I forgot entirely about my lame awards. After doze- several people took the time to vote for them, even. So I feverishly tallied up the vote(s), then ignor- and used the total to pick the winners. Here's they are.

Cutest Fighter (Male)
Roger "Senorita bonita" Huerta

Photo By the lovely and talented Tracy Lee at Combatlifestyle.com

Roger made some serious waves in MMA, hitting the cover of SI, being seen with Laura Prepon (I bet she smells nice), and getting beaten by a far uglier Kenny Florian. Then the bombshell: retirement. So, hasta la vista, Roger. Consider this Irrelevant Award a lifetime achievement as well, and enjoy the spanish-language soap operas.

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Best FUB
Roy "This belly has seen...things, man. Things." Nelson

I initially forgot to put Roy on here, and almost shot myself in the face when I realized how incompetent I was. Roy wins hands down for the best FUB in MMA. If it wasn't for Kevin James he'd win for the world.

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Extra Best Facial Hair
Evan Tanner

Was there ever any doubt? Evan is the man. Rest in peace, brother.

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Most Outstanding Pants
Shinya "These Legs Were Made for Choking" Aoki

What can I say? The man knows how to accessorize.

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Bitterest Blogger
Jake & Ryan at Fightlinker

Photo By the lovely and talented Tracy Lee at Combatlifestyle.com

At first, I doubted the results of the iron-clad democratic process I followed (looking at comments threads) but after some consideration, and listening to the Canadian angst over the GSP grease thing, and Jake's manic, near-panicky distaste for Machida (what else can the guy do, Jake? Come on!) I realized the intrinsic wisdom of the finicky mob that reads MMA blogs.

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That's it. Thanks for the meager harvest of votes, you lazy bastards. next year, I'll punish you by waiting even longer, so when Clint and Eric remember that I didn't do this, the disappointment will be even more palpable. PALPABLE I SAY.

E-fuckin-nough already

Listening to Joe Lauzon bicker and bitch online is getting very tiresome. Add that to BJ and the Grease (sing it to the tune of "Benny and the Jets"!) and we've had a thoroughly annoying week leading up to the UFN event on Saturday. Here's hoping there's some great fights, and Jeremy Stephens can stay the fuck off the ground and give us some entertainment before he gets submitted.

MMARatings article

I put a follow-up article on the least-wanted LWHs up at MMARatings.net. Excerpt:

I held off writing this until after the Machida-Silva fight. I had predicted an entertaining fight, but a dominating win for Machida. I was right on both counts, though it was mostly entertaining to Lyoto, his fans, and dependents. He absolutely destroyed Silva, who managed to barely throw any strikes at all prior to a devastating KO as the first round buzzer sounded. After the fight Machida told the crowd he'd fight anyone. I have no reason to doubt he'd win, too.
As an aside, There's something of a "Machida Derangement Syndrome" in the ranks of MMA fandom that's far worse than the hatred for BJ Penn. It makes it hard to read the blogs when all they can manage is yelping and whining about Machida "running". It's tiresome and embarrassing, frankly. Get the hell over it already, you're making fools of yourselves.

Just a note: Please give generously to help us win the battle against Machida Derangement Syndrome. It's debilitating to those who suffer from it, and causes crippling stupidity and an inability to lucidly write a single fuckin' word.