Fucking. Lame.

So Chael Sonnen, convicted criminal, steroid cheater, and all-around scumbag (that's what most people mean when they say "colorful" or "he's a self-promoter"), is off suspension and most likely going to be welcomed back to the UFC with open arms. He's basically going to go unpunished for his money laundering conviction. Most likely because, eh, it's the Fertittas. Money laundering seems to be a blind spot in the moral limo they're cruising along the interstate in.
A major MMA show comes to San Diego, and guess who the fucking main event is? Nick fucking Diaz and Paul fucking Daley. Fuck. Those. Guys. Two of the stupidest motherfuckers on the planet. They make Melvin "I never got beat, I only got submitted" Guillard look like a fucking Rhodes scholar. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Scott Coker's response to Dana White's assclownery

So Coker responded in a professional, non-fucktard way to Dana White being an idiot. I wonder how long White can keep this shit up? I'm getting sick of it. I'm getting sick of the bullshit rich-guy monopoly, and I'm seeing the UFC have issues with it at some point in the future. Probably not for a while...they're still selling PPVs, and making bank at it. But sometime soon it's going to start causing trouble, the bullshit bro-tude that White brings as douche-in-chief, and it's going to cost some people a chance at making a living. And since he works for the Fertittas, he may end up in the trunk of a car if he fucks up too badly.

Reilly and the Fertittas

The more I learn about NY state congresscritter and his potential conflict of interest with the Fertittas brothers over their treatment of hotel workers, and their union, the more I hope the UFC fails. I know unions aren't always great, but they represent the little guy. The Fertittas, and Dana White, they represent themselves, millionaires. And the mob, but that's a different story. Is it weird that a union, examples of which have long been mob cash cows, is in conflict with a business with known (well, strongly implicated) organized crime connections? Weirder and weirder.
What is definitely weird is the number of "media" outlets in the MMA world that are whole-hog in favor of lynching Reilly. Are you REALLY that far up Dana White's ass? Are you REALLY in favor of the shitty monopolistic anti-labor practices the UFC follows? Are you REALLY rooting for a petty, vindictive tyrant like White and two questionably-moralled guys like the Fertittas? Really, MMA "media"?

Evan Tanner documentary

I'd recommend watching this trailer for "Once I Was A Champion", a documentary about Evan Tanner. Right up to the part where they show Chael Sonnen saying Evan was not intelligent. Even to the dead, Chael Sonnen is a fucking huge evil scumbag. I hope that guy gets stuck in a vent.

UFC 122, other thoughts

I was pondering the state of the game while watching 122, and the one guy right now that really stands out to me as a game-changer is Dominick Cruz. His style is baffling to opponents, and his one majorly underestimated aspect is his ground game, which he deployed to brutal effectiveness against Benvinidez. I picture him being a pretty badass UFC champ for a long time.
I'd love to see Denis Siver at 145lbs. That looks like his weight, despite that frankly awesome win over Andre Winner. Both guys looked good.
While I was stoked for Bang Ludwig to steal that decision over Ohoweveryouspellit, I got some admiration the guy for the twoish rounds Slick Nick threw down for. I honestly was surprised as hell that Bang took that win. The end of the fight often pushes the win.
Amir Sadollah's fight bored the shit out of me. It's weird for me to wish that Dolloway had won a fight, but it would have been nice to not have to watch Sadollah carefully and with great technical ability not come close to finishing a fight. Indeed he seems disinterested, or actively upset, by the very idea of finishing.
Karlos Vemola did what he was brought in to do. Seth Petruzelli is always fun for me. I like that dude, win or lose. If they could just have Vemola and Petruzelli fight each event, that would be a pretty good starting course.
I was extremely pleased with the number of fights shown vs. the number of commercials shown. I know they have to pay for this shit, and I accept that, but it felt like they hit the sweet spot tonight on the tape-delay.
Yushin went and trained with Chael Sonnen after being beat, maybe a loss to Nate would have been the best thing that could have happened to him...training with Greg Jackson would help him. God damn if Yushin just threw nothing but jabs he'd beat 99% of middleweights out there. Holy shit he has to fight Anderson Silva now. Wow. I hope we see the same aggressive Yushin there...he's a great fighter.
OK, more later.

Lame shit

1: Fighters bitching about "keyboard warriors" or other people who talk shit. Man the fuck up. Remember, slings and stones and Cain Velazquez may break your bones, but words should really never hurt you, unless you're a thin-skinned whiny dipshit. What the fuck do you care what people say? Grow the fuck up!

2: People bagging on champs because they don't like them, or they liked the other fighter better. This goes out to Lyoto Machida, Zoila Frausto, Frankie Edgar (though he's backed up his win since), and all the other champs.

3: Everything that happens on TUF.

4: Everything within 5' of Josh Koscheck.

TUF tonight, other crap

Dude...Josh Koscheck is either the world's worst douchebag, or the TUF editors are made of some kind of evil jelly. He comes off as more of a douche than ever. The whole Kos-Medic "drama" is retarded beyond belief.

The fight was relatively boring. That Stevens character...hopefully he either gets in a good camp and actually learns how to fight before the Finale show (if he's invited after two losses), or he gives up and just starts brawling, because he's definitely not a major-leaguer at the moment. Are any of these kids other than maybe Jonathan Brookins? I know it's hard to judge watching this shitty show, and guys often turn out different afterwards (Cole Miller, Gray Maynard, Georges Roop and Sotiropolous spring to mind) but damn, son, this gang of fighters seems pretty half-assed. Moreso than the England vs USA season (remember that abortion?).

Honestly, I'll be happy when it's over.

Stuff

UFC-WEC "Merger"? Not really a merger is it? The WEC is disappearing, like it did in that PPV event. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the UFC adding divisions. I think we need a 125 and to have the HWs divided up as well, a cruiserweight, light heavy, heavy, and super-heavy division would be good. But I'm like that.
There's quite a few UFC lightweights that can head to featherweight right now, although they may want to wait for Jose Aldo to head up first. Jeremy Stephens, Spencer Fischer, and Sean Sherk jump to mind. There's certainly more. I wonder if a guy like Clay Guida keeps his gas tank and strength ten lbs lighter? Interesting.
I had a lot of MMA over the last couple weeks, some good, some OK, some crap. I'm sick of hearing people bitch and moan about Zoila's win. She fought a decent fight and took it to the cards. She did enough to win. Tough luck, Mega Megu. Get more than one takedown, next time. Alexander Schlemenko sure can take a punch.
Cain-Brock was entertaining if one-sided. I was surprised to see the flying knee attempted by Lesnar. Probably not a good choice though. Of course gameplans are harder to implement when you're getting hit by an angry Mexican freight train.
Looking forward to Yushin-Marquardt, even on tape delay. Another big MW for Nate to battle, another overseas headliner for Yushin. I like both fighters, so I am going to root for a good fight, and guess that Okami pulls out a slim decision.

UFC 118 Notes, MMA Thoughts

Cross-posted at MMA-Report. Image by Esther Lin, at Allelbows.com. Best in the business.

So UFC 118 has come and gone. James Toney demonstrated that he's an old fat guy who barely trained for MMA. He also demonstrated that heavyweight boxers aren't good heavyweight MMA fighters because they're too small. Can you picture him getting in the cage against Shane Carwin, Cain Velazquez, or Brock Lesnar? Please. It was a paycheck for a washed-up boxer who can't get the big fights he wants. Plan achieved, paycheck received, please, let's not see him in the UFC again.
Randy did, admirably, what he needed to, a company man through and through. He took the guy talking shit out back and roughed him up. For all this trash Toney was just hyping a fight like boxers do. Hopefully MMA fans got a good look at what "hype" looks like and are sick of it.
On the other hand, maybe Toney's horrible performance, in which "survived a short while" is the most charitable description, will prompt other boxers of higher caliber to come to the cage and give it a serious shot. Dana White has a high knowledge of boxing, he should be able to help ID worthy fighters. Just a possibility.
Frankie Edgar is a seriously bad matchup for BJ Penn. I didn't think BJ looked hurt or unhealthy, he's just not as good as Frankie. I don't see Edgar beating Maynard, and that is a terrible, terrible thought. But he could. If he stands and boxes Maynard and pops off the occasional leg kick, stays on his bike and moves, and punctuates things with a surprise takedown, he can beat Maynard. It'll be tough though.
Kenny Florian...sigh. Dana White says Kenny choked. Maybe. Maybe it's psychological, or he was tired. I can't see him staying with Cru Dellagrotta after this. He's gotta get the fuck out of Boston and shake things up.
Where does BJ Penn go from here? This loss has to be absolutely crushing. Does he still have the passion? I can picture him retiring. But then again he's a warrior, and I can see him making another run. Time will tell.
Nate Diaz proved he has a lot of ways to win fights, and he has a big chin. There's a lot of fights for him in the UFC. I'm glad I turned off the sound though. Hearing a Diaz talk is like getting a live centipede shoved up your pee-hole.
A decent card, overall. "Serviceable" comes to mind. A bunch of Boston/Northeast fighters on a Boston card.

So I did it.

Cross-posted at MMA-Report. Go check out the reviews of MMA equipment!

I managed to stay away from UFC 117 in a possibly (entirely) misguided attempt at a protest. I did follow the updates from ringside at various sites. Sounds like some good fights. I question the need for Sonnen-Silva 2, however, without Sonnen winning a fight. Same thing with Vitor Belfort, though, I don't get why he has an immediate title shot when he's never once won a fight at 185lbs in the UFC. The guy who deserves a shot, in my eyes, is Yushin Okami, but it's hard to say go on that fight since he got beat so thoroughly by Scumbag Sonnen already.

I went 8-3 in my picks for 117, missing on Hallman, Hughs, and Story. Great win for Rick Story, by the way. Where the hell does McLovin Hazelett go from here? He's on a bit of a stumble.

Junior Dos Santos took a great step forward in handling a very, very tough heavyweight. I don't like his chances against Brock Lesnar or Cain Velazquez, to be honest, but he can find anyone's chin. Nelson is great at protecting his chin and absorbing shots. I don't think either of the fighters scrapping for the belt next are as good at keeping their chins protected, so it should be a short and violent contest with JDS.

Can we finally, once and for all, for the last time, stop calling Thiago Alves a welterweight contender? While he's got ferocious strikes, if you can't make your goddamn weight, which he's failed as often as not to acheive, you're not a fighter at that weight class. He's not a 170lb fighter. End of story. I think he'll get dominated even worse at the upper echelons of 185, too. I can see him catching some KO's, and being "durable", but he's got to make some serious changes and find a way to make 170. I think he gets killed at 185 against anyone at say Alan Belcher's level.

And to everyone who doubted Captain Caveman Clay Guida? Nyahhh!

Random thoughts UFC on Versus 2 edition

I posted some thoughts over at MMA-Report.
Unrelated: I read a lot of stuff in my news feed, and I end up seeing CP and MiddleEasy and Fightlinker report on War "John "War Machine" Koppenhaver" Machine a lot. I don't want to. That guy is irrelevant to the sport, and boring. I know some people get a laugh out of it but I don't.
Dan Severn won his 94th victory. Dude is 52. GO DAN.
It's old news that Roxy got KOd, and I'm still bummed out about it, but I'm looking forward to her triumphant return. Roxy, you're the best! Defeat will only drive you higher!
Good fucking lord I cannot wait to see Randy Couture grab a clinch on Toney, throw him on the ground, and elbow his face until it looks like burned lasagna. There is no one more annoying than him in the sport right now. And this is a sport that features Chael Sonnen, so that's quite a feat. Also, can everyone, please, stop talking up Toney like he's one of the best ever in boxing? He was an overrated boxer with excellent KO power who got dinged TWICE for juicing. He put on 30lbs of cheeseburger weight to get to heavyweight and schooled some dudes, sure. But he's no goddamn all-time great. It disrespects the real all-time greats like Robinson, Ali, Chavez, Leonard and Hagler to call him that. NOT SO. Don't fuck around on the feet, Randy. Drag him down, pound him out, send him the fuck home. Dude should have taken Kimbo.

Bellator, etc

Because of the utter deliciousness of the Lakers' 16th NBA championship and the accompanying press coverage, FSN didn't bother showing Bellator anywhere near where I thought they would, and I just read up on the fights. Apparently Hornbuckle just got smothered by Askren. It doesn't sound like lay and pray either. I'm looking forward to a spirited bout with Lyman Good, who is a beast. I wonder why he hasn't fought since winning the tournament, like Eddie Alvarez and Joe Soto have? Odd.
Askren controlling Hornbuckle's sub attempts makes me wonder if he's got very good sub defense or if he's just fought subpar fighters? Hornbuckle looks legit, but you can't tell. If Askren's a top-tier guy we'll have to see him against other top-tier guys.
The Strikeforce: Los Angeles show was damn weird. The main event was an eyesore, having to listen to Mauro Ranallo talk hurt my head, and can we FINALLY stop mentioning Zaromskis ever again?
Looking forward to the approximately nine million commercials I'll get to digest during the TUF Finale. Nothing like the same game commercials over and over and. over. again. to make your brains bleed into your spinal column.
Couture-Toney is "official"...why do I feel sad?

UFC 115 thoughts: Death of an Iceman

I've been posting pretty regularly at MMA-Report, so if you feel interested in what I've got to say (weirder things have happened) check it out. I'm going to be careful to cross post here from now on.

What else can you say about Chuck Liddell that hasn't been said a million times? Guy is a great athlete, he showed every facet of MMA last night except one: a chin. Whatever it looked like in real time, the replay showed he got hammered hard by that right hand. Still, a top light heavyweight needs to be able to take that shot and weather the storm. Chuck can still fight. There's a hundred thousand LHWs out there he can beat. But does he want to go down the Dan Severn road and whup on nobodies for (probably sizeable) paychecks? Or does he want to call it a career as one of the most respected fighters of all time? Plus a likely long and involved blowjob from Dana White.
Middleeasy.com shows Chuck's journey from ER to partying with "Gayface" Shields.
I missed one of the prelim fights, so I'm rewatching now. Mac Danzig is a case study in how terrible 99% of TUF fighters are. Remember how clearly he dominated that show? No one was even close to his game, his experience. Then they throw him in the UFC and he gets clownschooled constantly. Sure he's showed some flashes, but really he was matched up just right against Matt Wiman in a #1 gatekeeper bout. Maybe it's the vegan lifestyle.
All that said he did get robbed pretty badly. Of course, if a ref shakes your hand to see if you're out, you should give him the thumbs up to let him know you're fine. Good job saying that Lavigne has a tough job. Danzig was pretty classy about this. Rematches however are annoying as shit.
Side note: I watched Australia vs Germany in World Cup. HOLY SHIT I thought the Aussies had a good chance in that game. It looked like little boys playing against grown men.
Evan Dunham says, in politer terms, what I was thinking: What the fuck is up with a judge giving that fight to Tyson Griffin? What a load of shit. Dunham is a great up and comer, but where does Tyson go? He's a talented dude, but he's lost to the top of the division pretty consistently. Does he move from Xtreme Couture? In a related note, is Ariel Helwani related to Nosferatu?
Carlos Condit vs Rory MacDonald...the blogosphere is up in arms about the stoppage, but it seemed pretty justified to me. It seemed like any time in the last minute and a half or so it could have been stopped, regardless of how many animated GIFs someone posts about the fighter on the bottom moving his hands. As MacDonald himself said: "it was a just stoppage. He was kicking my ass." From the mouth of baby fighters. I am looking forward to Rory going forward though, he's a talented young fighter. Condit may have won, but he's got a lot of questions that need answering, especially his inability to start out strong.
Pat Barry and Cro Cop...the hugging has to stop. Barry needs to find a way to get that killer instinct fired up. He's a powerful striker, and young, but he has to find a way to finish guys when he hurts them. It did turn out he had a broken hand (my brother and I spotted it while he was fighting, I was proud of myself) and foot, but he had Crop Cop hurt and down and let him off the hook. Congratulations Mirko, even if I'm not 100% convinced you're "back".
Mike Pyle vs Jesse Lennox...as much as I think Pyle is a talented fighter, he's equally as much of a cocksucker. I totally root for him to get beat, especially after his bullshit in EliteXC about female fighters. He's a petulant shit. He has technique, but god I hope they put him up against a top 170 pounder so he can get his ass kicked.
Overall, however, that was one of the best cards the UFC has put on in a while. There were multiple "Fight of the Night" candidates, and some back and forth wars. Rothwell-Yvel was the only fight that was a real dud...talk about throwback heavyweights. That was a high-quality Joe's Backyard Brawls bout. I hope we don't have to watch either of those guys again any time soon. Other than that I was glad to have found a way to catch this card.

Daley is "genuinely contrite"

Well, no shit. He just got fired from the world's biggest MMA promotion. Why wouldn't he be?
But this is the last thing I'll say on this incident: Daley shouldn't come back because he's a lousy mixed martial artist. Great striker, lousy MMA. End o' story.

More two-facedery

I dunno if two-facedery is a word and I don't care. Dana White said some nice things about Kimbo Slice, but he still got cut. The article brings up a valid point, why not just pay the guy to sit on the bench? It'll keep him out of Strikeforce or MFC's bouts, or whoever else has the cash to throw him in against tomato cans.
While White says letting Kimbo go is about the "integrity", he still has fat, slow-talking, former world-class knockout artist James Toney coming into the UFC. What's with that? I guess the "boxer fighting MMA" angle is all right, but honestly no one cares that much. Bring in a boxer in his prime against a mixed martial artist in his prime, that's what I'd like to see.
Also, I think Randy Couture will get knocked out by Shogun if they match up after the Toney fight. PLUS! Why the hell are they talking about not even lining up Rua's first defense until probably December? Holy shit, it's MAY. That guy needs to fight at least once more time before 2011. Hopefully twice. The UFC is turning very boxing-like with the huge delays between title defenses.

Daley says he's sowwy

After having "time to consider" his fuck-uppery, Paul Daley issued a statement apologizing. He misses the point that, even though his knee didn't connect, it was clearly illegal anyway, and thrown with the damn intention to foul. Koscheck was on all fours, for dog's sake.
One thing that keeps getting repeated is that it would be good to give "such a talented fighter" another shot. Correction: Daley is a talented big puncher. He is NOT a talented fighter. A talented fighter can get out from under Kos, or not get taken down in the first place. A talented fighter is multi-dimensional, and a one-trick prick like Kos wouldn't sit on him and rub afro-sweat in his stupid mug all night. A talented fighter is someone like George St. Pierre, who can fight from wherever he ends up.
Paul Daley is NOT A TALENTED FIGHTER.

Paul Daley Saves Josh Koscheck

I'm sure it's been said already, but Paul Daley saved Josh Koscheck's ass at the end of that aesthetic abortion of a bout last night. If Daley hadn't pulled one of the cheapest bullshit fucktard moves in history, we would be talking about Kos YET AGAIN proving what a complete assclown he is due to the Premier League-level fakery from the whiffed knee Daley threw and nothing else. Both guys brought MMA to new lows, but unfortunately, Kos will get rewarded for it because of Daley's massive stupidity. Kos gets fucking rewarded.
Don't forget, he pulled some of that bullshit in his fight against Rumble too. Both fights he was winning. My brother thinks Koscheck has started 'roiding. I don't know, but he's definitely a different fighter.

TUF thoughts

Thank god I had the DVR working last night. I like how they have started making Tito look like he's a fuckup in advance of booting him/his retirement/whatever the fuck lead to him lobbing Jenna around.
That kid Josh looked like a lot of the fighters they have on that show, solid chin, excellent power, but no discipline or skillset. If he'd just listened to Hackelman he would have KOd that clown easily. I'd like to see him develop a lot, he could have potential. He's a little short for 185.
Again, what's with guys showing up with no cardio? It's like, over eleven seasons, no one has figured out that they go on the show to fight for up to fifteen minutes. I've speculated before that the adrenaline dump may be partly a factor (not original thinking, stuff I've heard from fighter blogs and interviews etc), plus the weird situation of fighting in front of a handful of people and almost as many cameras. Still...they know that's going to happen too. Just once I'd like to see a fighter who's not utterly sucking air at the start of the second round.
The Dana White-Chuck Liddell "mad dog" teaser was a bit of a curveball. Of course, they're 'bros' as I believe the children say these days, which in turn would mean they are in front of 'hos'. Thus it is unlikely the spat is anything more than just that.

Jim Genia rules

He makes wit da funzors:

Controversy has once again reared its ugly head, this time with the news that, in a bout between Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz that occurred earlier in the day at the pair's Huntington Beach residence, the much-maligned cageside judge Douglas Crosby scored all three rounds in favor of the ex-pornstar.

My stepbrother this morning texted me with "I bet Tito gassed out after about a minute". Stay classy fellas! This signals the end of my attention and concern for Tito Ortiz, as he ceased being a viable damn mixed martial artist five years ago.

There are few things I won't shell out $45 for

• Jose Aldo seemed to be sticking to a gameplan like glue. I thought he could have finished Faber more than once, but didn't want to give even the hint of an opening to the California Kid. And yes, Faber is overrated. He's a top-tier fighter, but he's no longer a top five featherweight.


• Manvel the Anvil broke my heart. I thought MTB would get him.


• Leonard Garcia was given a very early Xmas gift.


• Benson Henderson, random exclamations at invisible sky people aside, is the fuckin' man. One small mistake by the cocky Cowboy and it's all over. And the way Cerrone tapped you know that choke hurt.


• It was weird seeing Goldberg and Rogan announcing the fights, but they did a fine job.


• Cowboy and Mike Thomas, despite being some of the best fighters in the world (in my book), need to do some serious thinking on their games. Changes are in order.